We adopted an 11y/o from overseas recently. There are times that it’s a temptation — but I would no sooner “return” the child than to sell one of my “biologicals” into slavery. Adoption should be like child-birth; they’re yours for keeps.
WOW! It seems that it would be difficult to adopt an older child. I admire you!
we adopted a five-year old... he is now 11... the first 3 years were rather difficult... not entirely difficult, but difficult nonetheless... our son is ours through and through... and so is his brother (who was a baby when we adopted him)... if the adults just keep in mind that it's not about them, and if they don't take the child's behavior personally, they can work through it... it is a sacrifice... one that we have found well-worth making...
I don’t even have the heart to turn out the two dogs my daughter brought home and left behind when she move to the opposite coast.......they love us........though I have been tempted I could never look in their eyes and leave them...it would kill me.