[dread78645]

Well, I wonder if they can analyize the petrified wood sample and tell whether or not it is gopher wood?

And what exactly is 'gopher wood'?
How could you tell the difference between it, and lets say, 'beaver wood'?

[DoingTheFrenchMistake]

And what exactly is 'gopher wood'? How could you tell the difference between it, and lets say, 'beaver wood'?

Let's just say... the wood you get from Beaver is just a little harder than that gotten with gopher, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

[Cicero]

Yes, here’s one explanation:

“Gopher wood” is a misreading and scribal error. “Kopher” wood is correct and means wood (any wood) that is covered with Kopher. Kopher is bitumen. In the Genesis text (6:14), the context is clear. The GPR wood used, (a scribal error) is to be covered in KPR. G and K in Hebrew are so similar that inexperienced Hebrew “scholars,” such as those translating the King James Version of the Bible, could have been prone to such errors, indeed, they made many such errors.

[crusty old prospector]

"Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts." How about a nice, cool drink, varmints? Scum, slime, menace to the golfing industry! You're a disgrace. You're varmints. You're one of the lowest members of the food chain and you'll probably be replaced by the rat. Well, I have been pushed. It's about time somebody teaches these varmints a little lesson about morality and about what it's like to be a decent, upstanding member of a society! Come to Carl, varmint. I guess we're playing for keeps now. I guess the kidding around is pretty much over. I guess it's just a matter of pumping about 5,000 gallons of water down there to teach you a lesson. Is that it? I think it is!

[Sudetenland]

Beaver wood has a curly grain.