First off, I’ve never even had a drop of coffee, cafeinnated or otherwise. How dare you?!
Second, your whole argument is off base. There can’t be a monopoly for an product that isn’t necessary.
Third, based on the fact that you are frankly wrong on the issue, you should acquiesce and admit it. Don’t feel bad, sometimes people are wrong, it’s your turn to be wrong and you should come to grips with it.