I've taken some time to read the comments posted here. Thought you all might want to read a few lines that Tony Snow wrote in March of 2008 on a forum I post at. He was talking of death and those you leave behind.
"One consoles as one can; with love and steadfastness. The purpose of consolation is not to proclaim judgment; that’s someone else’s job. In times of grief, one gives one’s heart to another, in ways that will provide solace rather than pain — to embrace, them, help them and support them. Paul notes that one needs to be all things to all people in practicing one’s faith. And in times of grief, one must be a selfless friend."
I suspect Tony would say to those of us who are grieving. Tears are fine, but after the tears remember me with smiles and laughter.
That really did help.