[MarkeyD]

Use a paper hole punch on my eyelids.

[cripplecreek]

Self circumcision with plastic kindergarten scissors.

[gimme1ibertee]

Watch paint dry,count the holes in my kitchen sponge....

[rwa265]

Cut my grass with a pair of tweezers.

[HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity]

People are going to get tired of hearing that self-righteous preachy voice lecturing to them.

[BornToBeAmerican]

I love it!!!!!

Thanks for taking the time to make my DAY!!!!!

He is not liked very much around here either!!!!

[tbpiper]

And I thought I hated to hear Bill Clinton..... I think I’d rather hear Clinton read Shakespere (all of it) than listen to one word from Obama.

[goodnesswins]

Since it appears to be a PUMA’s list.....”Listen to Rush Limbaugh”

[conservative_guyz]

build a lincoln log cabin out of coughed up cat hair balls

[scooter2]

Have a root canal without anesthesia.

[Califreak]

Often, as I wake up I hear his voice droning on and on, but no TV, radio, or computer is on.

We’ve been saturated.

[IbJensen]

Stabbing my cat with a fork.

Gagging a maggot.

Wrapping barbed wire around my head.

Hugging a queer.

Driving my new Mercedes over a cliff.

[Snurple]

Get my scrotum removed by an angry pit bull, that makes 100.

[IbJensen]

Removing my own appendix with a table knife.

Eating dirt.

Running naked down Times Square.

Blowing up my house.

Eating my children.

[tapatio]

Change Grand daughter’s stinky diapers!

[soloNYer]

Walk around the Upper West Side with a McCain/Palin T-shirt.

[Malsua]

Run a cheese grater over my stomach?

[OneWingedShark]

>7. Clean your house

You’re on! ;)
{WARNING/DISCLAIMER: I AM A BACHELOR.}

[Maceman]

I’d rather have a tarantula lay eggs in my ear.

[karnage]

Eat a bowl of iron filings, and then run through airport security screaming “Allah Ahkbar!”