Posted on 12/23/2008 12:09:15 AM PST by goldstategop
/8^)
Great points...
Excellent analysis.
Reconsider? Sexuality is not something you weigh and set like selecting a computer’s features.
Men remaining single is not helpful to any community; look what’s become of our inner cities!
Men do sacrifice quietly, in your words. Prager is just saying it comes to no good where sex is concerned, whether we like it or not. That is why he points out that nature won’t change for “greater goods” or anything else. Thus, he warns not to mistake the silence of men for acceptance.
The mood thing should be an interesting read.
Isn’t the fundamental issue really just a matter of pitting the way things are (author’s premise) against the way things might be (dissenters’ premise)? If male sexuality and motivation are essentially adjustable, rational, mediated by depth of relationship, then the author’s points are debatable. If not, then the dissent is nonsense. Simple...
My ex could have written that. She denied me for well over a year while I did all the “right” things. She finally had to have our pastor say, “you know, withholding sex is a form of sexual abuse”. She was done with him. For her it was a control issue. I would have loved for her to read this article but, frankly, I strongly believe her response would have been like yours. To be fair, I think it was partly her upbringing that led to it, but after 20 years of marriage and 18 years in the same Assembly of God church, she up and divorced my completely out of the blue.
I was faithful, I was loving (you see, I took SERIOUSLY what the counselors told us) and as a Christian, divorce was out of the question - for me. It was going to work or I was going to die trying.
Meanwhile I have been married to my wife for 10 years and the honeymoon aint over. And we are both just shy of 55! For her, foreplay is how I treat her throughout the day.
I honestly did not know a man could be as sexually fulfilled as I am. I also used to look at chick films as “science fiction for women”. I now know there are people that actually LIVE those love stories. My wife and I are. That is why the movies bring me to tears. I relate to the characters.
I also understand the wisdom behind the biblical description of marrieage. Women that deny sex to their men are doing a serious disservice to him, herself and their children. It will be visited on multiple generations.
I could go on but I have already said more than I probably should have.
Bottom line is this: If a person is blaming the marital problems on their spouse, they don’t get it, period.
SERIOUS abuse notwithstanding.*
*The word abuse has been so diluted by many womens groups today that all men (and women), with the exception of Jesus Himself, fit the definition of “abuser”. That helps nobody. Abuser=human
>>He makes married sex sound like something that is a given, paid for one time on the wedding day. <<
That puts him in good company, because it IS.
1 Corinthians 7: 1-7
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Hocndoc, you could not be more wrong.
It is also why I believe the word rape has no meaning between a married couple. Rape is forced sex. Forced means without permission. She (and he) gave permission in their wedding vows. Now don’t get me wrong. A man who “forces” sex onto his wife is not acting in a loving way, but rape it aint.
...or look like they are. If she plotted a sarcastic embargo, in advance, with a mock sex toy, LOL!
>>A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet.
Then on the prowl.<<
Bingo!
>>6. Then there’s the woman who knows that if her husband truly wanted sex, he’d have taken out the trash and helped with the dishes.<<
That makes it payment. How about if he slips her a $20 instead. It’s probably overpaying but whadayagonnado...
>>When it comes to sexual relations between a committed couple, it is important to both sexes to understand that denial is a serious dysfunction of the relationship.<<
So true. I am very thankful that I am blessed to have a relationship where neither of us would EVER deny to the other. It is a mutual love and respect thing - which seems to lead to more than enough desire.
>>he’d have taken out the trash and helped with the dishes.
That’s porn for women, right there. <<
NO wonder my wife can’t keep my hands off me. :)
But seriously, we sort of do it for each other. And the more we do it, the easier it gets.
>>he’d have taken out the trash and helped with the dishes.
That’s porn for women, right there. <<
NO wonder my wife can’t keep her hands off me. :)
But seriously, we sort of do it for each other. And the more we do it, the easier it gets.
They don’t think that is going to inspire women. It is simply a statement of fact. They have to release that. Expecting them not to is no different than expecting you to not urinate for days at a time. It is a body function/
Joe you are a great men:) And even tho’ your kids go ewwwwwwwwwwww, it is good for them to see that because you are teaching your sons how to treat their wives and your daughters how to accept a man’s love. All 5 of my children are married and have fantastic relationships and all 5 have told me that it is due to the model we sat for them. They go EWWWWWWWWWW, but they love it:)
>>Does, “I need to drain my prostate on a regular basis,” work well at attracting women?<<
Yikes! This article is about sex within marriage. I hope he’s not trying to attract women!
Not sure how many Freepers under the age of 35 are reading this thread, but here’s a tip;
Get your finances in order. My wife and I have been married almost 9 years with 3 kids age 2-6.
Removing financial stress from our household has done wonders for her libido. Since we rarely have money fights, we rarely fight at all. When we were young and broke, every minor crisis carried with it a financial crisis and it weighed on her much more than it did me.
I was shocked at how receptive my wife became once that burden was lifted. Just a thought....
There’s a reason we have laws against suicide attempts, self-harm and spousal rape. Because people will and do abuse anything, even themselves.
My husband used to think the way that you do, but the FLDS child bride rapes made him rethink the issue.
Notice: Paul did not say that there could not be abuse, he encouraged abstinence and failing that, mutual giving, with concurrent agreement (or permission, consent).
I agree with you completely. I just don’t understand all these women that don’t have a healthy drive.
First of all, these women need to have their hormones checked by a forward-thinking doctor who cares about quality of life and not just disease, and if their hormone levels are not optimal (no BS about “that’s normal for YOUR AGE or that’s normal for WOMEN ON THE PILL”!!), then they should be given bioidentical, transdermal hormones. They do not cause cancer, they actually LENGTHEN life, and they certainly would make you want to live longer. (Only artificial, oral hormone replacement causes cancer.)
I love your description and I feel it’s the same for men AND women.
I don’t know why Dennis thinks it’s always the man who loves sex. Maybe in his case, or maybe he’s marrying the wrong women!
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