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I know where you are coming from. I pretty much agree. I do think the occasional mood excuse is reasoned. I don’t think it should be more than very occasional, because otherwise the guy does get the message that his needs aren’t very important. He ultimately gets the message that he isn’t valued by his mate. That realization is destructive to man’s ego, and his sense of well being.

The mood thing is so hard for guys to understand. Frankly, there simply isn’t a mood excuse in my book for me. The act of making love is the ultimate rescue from being down. If my mood sucks, this is the very thing that can turn that around.

That’s why men (who I think pretty much agree with my take here), simply cannot fathom a mood excuse. And frankly, the more than occasional mood excuse is a clear signal that something is fundamentally wrong with the woman’s outlook.

Now she may have a valid reason for that outlook, but if she does, then she should come clean with the man and explain what is causing the mood. If he is displeasing her in some way, she must tell him, or get back to loving him fully.

A couple has to tell each other what they want and what their expectations are. People have this fantasy that their partner knows what to give them without having to be asked and they get hurt when the other person doesn't know. People can't read minds so tell each other what you need. It may not look romantic but it can save you from being hurt and looking downright stupid. And it can only improve your love life and your marriage.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

“Now she may have a valid reason for that outlook, but if she does, then she should come clean with the man and explain what is causing the mood. If he is displeasing her in some way, she must tell him, or get back to loving him fully.”

OK - let me put it this way.

Think of a time at work where it’s super-hectic, and you’ve got a huge “to-do” list running in your head.
You don’t have enough time to get it all done, and everything on your list is important.

In the middle of the craziness - a buddy stops by your office, sits down, and wants to visit.
Your laundry list is still running in your head - you aren’t into the conversation with your buddy because your mind is elsewhere.

It isn’t that you don’t like your buddy, or even that talking to him isn’t important to you.

Your buddy thinks you’re giving him the could shoulder and leaves your office feeling slighted.