It was very rare to encounter a person on my Probation/Parole caseload that came from a two parent family. Most came from single parent families headed by their mothers.
Sadly, the probationers/parolee's who were parents, were also not married and frequently had fathered multiple children by different women, and the women multiple children by different men. Unfortunately, that is what single parenthood leads to in many cases, and it becomes the norm and as generational as married parenthood.
As a country and a civil society, this does not bode well for our future.
I agree to much of what you’ve said.
I still think it all comes down to responsibility and accountability. We don’t seem to teach that much anymore.
Two parent families are best in most cases. Two parents who love each other, respect each other, are best. Two people who take their committment seriously, best.
Even the best parents, still have kids who screw up. As a parent, I would never shun my kid for a mistake, or the mistake of having pre marital sex, getting pregnant. It’s been happening forever. Families have dealt with it. My family has dealt with it by encouraging marriage but doesn’t always happen. The baby is always embraced. Families take care of their own. Some cultures, or some segments of our society have lost that.
Absinence isn’t unrealistic in all cases but it is in some. As it’s been since forever. Before, we used to deal with it within the family. Some people sent their kids away, gave up the baby for adoption, etc., pretended like it never happened. Or some got married right away. I don’t know what the answer is other than families should take care of their own. It’s not the government’s job to support anyone.
Rather than just teaching abstinence, we should be teaching everything and especially personal responsibility and accountablity. We’re focusing on the lowest segment of our society and trying to teach them common sense. IMO. Once the government pays (rewards) bad choices, there’s gonna be people (and in some cases a whole race of people) who find it easier to rely on the government/taxpayers to pay their way. We can’t, or shouldn’t, broad brush those who have always taken care of their own business without government/taxpayers.
We can’t hold parents responsible for their children/teens behavior in the broad brush way.