Posted on 03/08/2009 9:59:51 AM PDT by firehat
POLITCAL RAG BAG ©
BARACK OBAMA MOONS AMERICA
by Norman Liebmann
The trouble with the American economy is that there’s a President in the woodpile.
Barack Obama’s despicable treatment of visiting English Prime Minister Gordon Brown didn’t surprise the British people. They figured he just got crapped on by another Muslim.
Could you describe the Obama economy as a Soul Train Wreck? He treats the economy like it is a high-stakes crap game.
Muslim husbands claim they decapitate their wives so they won’t have trouble swallowing.
Senator Ted Kennedy will receive Honors from Queen Elizabeth. He will then be officially a Royal Pain in the Ass.
Considering its present occupants, it may be necessary to put a condom over the Capitol Dome. If Obama is in the building they might not be able to get it down past his ears.
The liberals have taken the position that they don’t care what a man's religion is, as long as he doesn’t practice it.
After being the first man to deliver a baby, he asked the doctor “Is it a boy?” The doctor is reported to have replied. “Let’s just say it’s in the ball park”.
If Barack Obama ever gets his face on a coin, that side will be called “tails”.
With all the new abandoned sexuality on college campuses, the new standard of eligibility for entrance should be called Affirmative Erection.
Inasmuch as the homeless in San Francisco have no sanitary facilities, traffic signals that keep saying “Go” and “Don’t Go” can be cruel.
If Charles Darwin thought the Galapagos Islands had some strange creatures, he should have checked out San Francisco. His book would have been called “The Origin of The Weirdoes”. (Why not call that town San Freak-cisco?)
Since the Obama Administration took office, visiting foreign diplomats have been advising each other not to drink the water in the White House.
The major lie of our time is that Barack Obama is the President of all the people. Put it this way. He’s the President of the Minoritycrats. Up to the present, the Obama Administration can only be described as a mega-flop.
John McCain is just the latest rallying voice for fanatical moderation. McCain can’t tell where political impotence ends and political impotence begins.
Will someone please explain why blacks call each other “brother” and kill each other in the streets?
Obama’s effort to restore respect from foreign nations has fallen short. Vladimir Putin treats Obama not like he is America’s President, but like he’s America’s Janitor-in-Chief.
Liberalism has made Californians into something beyond docile. They are zombies with tans.
Obama is saying jobs will be available on road construction. When you apply bring your own bulldozer.
Now that they have their own television series, it is clear lesbians can teach longshoremen a thing or two about swearing. Incidentally, would it be accurate to describe Hillary Clinton as the spiritual leader of the “almost lesbian” community?
Liberals have made California into the worst kind of cesspool – one without enough water.
Now that he’s making all that money, Obama should buy his wife a dress with sleeves - or one sleeve at the very least.
It would have been a better world if Black History had been confined to Black Geography.
It is fitting that Roland Burris, a liar, replaced Obama, another liar, in the Senate. Transitions don’t get any more seamless than that.
Signs have begun to appear on Connecticut lawns that read,”Be Kind to Animals or My Monkey Will Eat Your Face”. Incidentally, do monkeys consider bananas “soul food”?
Ben Bernanke, co-author of Wall Street’s financial collapse, will have his ignominious manipulations remembered as Bernanke-Hanky-Panky.
As an insult, Barack Obama returned a bust of Winston Churchill to England. It will be remembered that Churchill’s only achievement was saving Civilization. Perhaps Obama felt that Churchill should have waited a few thousand years to save Civilization when Civilization could have included Africa. It is apparent that Obama’s perception of world history only goes as far back as Woodstock.
Where or when did anyone ever get the idea that Rosie O’Donnell is a comedian? She is about as humorous as a slow leak in an iron lung.
The American Presidency has been passed from a Bubba to a Berber.
Speaking of defaults, Obama has left the actual running of this nation to Speaker of the House “Nutsy” Pelosi. At her recent audience the Pope scolded Pelosi. As a result of which she has spread the word that Benedict XVI is a “closet” Republican. In preparation for their meeting, the Pope wisely instructed his Cardinals, “Don’t leave me alone with her”. One more Vatican visit from Pelosi and the Pope may see a mass conversion from Catholicism to Voodoo.
E.J. Dionne, the stick-figure left-wing journalist, has an equally spindly mentality. He is still finding George W. Bush less than perfect. Hardly investigative journalism.
Las Vegas odds makers say it is 70 to 1 against the Obama stimulus package improving the economy. That’s a safer bet than a bookie in Ancient Rome giving 8 to 5 on the Christians over the lions.
Is there reason to believe that Abraham Lincoln ended slavery prematurely?
Sean Penn won an Oscar. Apparently the members of the Motion Picture Academy yielded to the Hollywood axiom, “When in doubt sacrifice quality”.
Chairman Michael Steele of the Republican National Committee promises to make the GOP “more hip hop” to attract minorities - proving the GOP never makes the same mistake twice. This mistake is now up in double digits.
It is reported that during the innumerable lavish soirees held by the Obamas, White House Marine Guards have been ordered to use their rifle butts to crack open lobsters shells. The Obama White House is always finding reason to make merry. Currently they’re celebrating the discovery of the color black.
Some genealogists propose that it may be possible to clone another Idi Amin by using DNA acquired from Michelle Obama.
Ann Coulter is clever, and cleverness is anathema to the unclever.
The only percentage in Barack Obama proclaiming ”I won”, is that he’s giving winning a bad name.
Chicagoans are on a roll. They gave us the Black Sox scandal – now they’ve given us the Obama Administration. Michelle’s Obama’s hair was the only thing in Chicago politics that went straight.
Barack Obama’s speeches have given us a new lingo called “spam-speak”.
Metaphorically speaking, Joe Biden has the political deftness of a proctologist who gives prostate examinations while wearing a catcher’s mitt.
There is always more sweat on Barney Frank’s upper lip than you would find in a Lakers’ post-game locker room.
In conformity with Al Gore’s theory of global warming, he has commissioned a painting of himself in the boat with George Washington crossing the Delaware. He’s the soldier wearing a seersucker uniform. (Presumably, he would have been the only guy at Valley Forge breaking a sweat.)
As a result of the ethnically-biased Presidential election, one might wonder why Charles Darwin didn’t warn us that Evolution isn’t for everybody.
The Republicans always make that classic mistake of bringing a knife to a gun fight.
In Washington little white lies were never little and henceforth will never be white.
Irrespective of the Obama Administration’s lamentations, the black’s do not have high unemployment. At least half of them are doing television commercials – at least on my TV set.
Hollywood scuttlebutt: There is in contemplation a new film teaming Sylvester Stallone with Janet Reno. The working title is "Rocky Meets Shaky".
Why aren’t Barney Frank, Christopher Dodd, and Charles Schumer in Attica? They could use a few more white felons up there.
There ought to be a bounty on California Judges.
Telling Americans not to listen to Rush Limbaugh may be Barack Obama’s second biggest mistake. Michelle was his first.
Will the Obama Administration re-popularize that festival of the politically incorrect invectives that once flooded the nation?
What is there about the job of First Lady that attracts so many bitches?
The recent theory by a geneticist holds that some people are born black due to an absence of DNA.
Some author has written an unkind version of history in which Barack Obama lived and was voted off a slave ship.
It was only a matter of time. Someone in Vermont is working on a gender-neutral toilet paper.
Obama has sworn off torture. Presumably in his old Chicago neighborhood they found it a tough habit to break.
By the time Genghis Khan was Obama’s age he had killed more than fifty million people. As the saying goes, “When you’re hot, you’re hot”.
If Hillary Clinton had become President she’d be working on her Emasculation Proclamation.
There is nothing in the Obama Administration that couldn’t be improved by a mutiny.
Like most Democrat Secretaries of State, her appointment to that position gave Hillary Clinton a chance to exercise her longstanding hatred of Jews.
Al Gore is giving the world a global reaming.
A Congressman has found a deodorant spray that can dispel the aroma of Nancy Pelosi in the House chamber. It’s called Hag-Away.
Michael Steele attacking Rush Limbaugh is just another sign that the Republican Party cannot abide a winner.
Now that the government is returning homes to the foreclosure-niks, will Obama also tell them at what time they have to be at home, and in bed by nine o’clock - with the television turned off?
The Obama economy will become known as grab-onomics. Democrats seem to have no memory of what America was.
A Heavenly messenger’s report to the Deity might go like this: Dear Lord, You sent me to Earth on a fact-finding mission to determine whether there was anything redeeming about the Humanity You created. Give me a few more centuries and I’ll get back to You.
And this …
Will Americans ever face the question about this President who is bringing our nation to ruin: Is it the right time to stop calling him a bastard and start calling him a (fill in color here) bastard?
***
Yery Nice thank you!
As someone who grew up in the South and knows the original expression, you are certainly living a little dangerously there Norm.
Well, Obama’s guy DID say there was some cowardly behavior in this country when it came to talking about race.
This should keep Jesse busy for a while. Sort of like Momma used to say, “when they’re talking about me, they’re giving everybody else a rest.”
My thoughts exactly.
I’m old enough to remember the expression even if I’m not from the South. But aren’t we all living a little dangerously these days?
Norman,
Don’t be a creep. Your mother taught you better than this. If she didn’t, it’s appropriate to apologize at this point.
I took a look at the linked site.... what was posted here is mild by comparison.
Some good zingers though.
Before people get the wrong idea about you
this statement from your site should be noted...
“The real person to be celebrated is Airline Pilot Chesley Sullenberger
who saved the lives of 155 people without caring whether they were black, white or just wet.”
I should think Holder would be proud of you
for being courageous enough to speak your mind honestly about race
without fear of being non-pc or called a racist.
Frankly, there are some low life racists
I would love to call the n-word just because they tell me I can not.
If you don’t stand up to racists
then you deserve to live in slavery to them.
“Liberalism has made Californians into something beyond docile. They are zombies with tans.
Obama is saying jobs will be available on road construction. When you apply bring your own bulldozer. “
Thank you Norm. You are a bright spot in a world of gloom.
Thank you for understanding so completely.
Norm
Down with the zombies with tans!
Let’s Roll!
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