Though it’s funny ... it’s misguided IMO. Jury nullification may be one of our last weapons against the tyranny of the government
Hahahahah,
“I’d rather count the wrinkes on my dog’s balls than sit on a jury.”
All he had to ask was, “Is this going to be a fully informed jury?”.
Deep inside, anyway.
His momma must be so proud.
I like this line:
“I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury”
I always comply with jury duty....then I sit in the pool room with my bible, Rush Limbaugh book, or some other appropriate reading material in plain sight. For some reason, I’m never selected.
Actually, given the Carter/Clinton and soon to be Obamaloon judges, what is the point of a jury?
Easy guide to justice.
1) If defendant is supported by liberal causes, is an illegal alien, or a real crook ...they will be found innocent.
2) If defendant is actually innocent and is a Caucasian or Asian, they will be found guilty.
Oh, that constitution? Fogettedabowdit.
There - we’ve saved the system a whole lot of money.
I know judges who would seat him to teach him a lesson.
I couldn’t do this because my dog has been neutered.
Fifteen words to the judge during voir dire: “I got no problem with the Negro [White, Mexican, or other ethnic group] man as long as he knows his place”.
Say it with a thick East Texas accent and it works every time.
I got thrown out when I was being questioned about “Party Law”
That is when you are with someone who commits a crime, you are guilty too.
All I asked was, “what if it is bus full of nuns and the driver robs a 7-11, are the nun’s guilty?”
The Judge was not smiling when I got my release.
Jury
All by Mark Twain.
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any
in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the
difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t
know anything and can’t read.
- 4th of July speech 1873
An ignorance so shining and conspicuous as yours—now
I have it—go on a jury.
That is your place.
- New York Weekly, 7/14/1873
(letter originally written to Josh Billings, 3/1873)
Our admirable jury system enabled the persecuted
ex-officials to secure a jury of nine gentlemen
from a neighboring asylum and three graduates from
Sing Sing, and presently they walked forth with
characters vindicated.
- The Gilded Age
The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and
honesty, and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity
and perjury.
It is a shame that we must continue to use a worthless
system because it was good a thousand years ago...
I desire to tamper with the jury law.
I wish to so alter it as to put a premium on intelligence
and character, and close the jury box against idiots,
blacklegs, and people who do not read newspapers.
But no doubt I shall be defeated—every effort I make
to save the country “misses fire.”
- Roughing It
On the inquest it was shown that Buck Fanshaw, in the
delirium of a wasting typhoid fever, had taken arsenic,
shot himself through the body, cut his throat, and
jumped out of a four-story window and broken his neck—
and after due deliberation, the jury, sad and tearful,
but with intelligence unblinded by its sorrow, brought
in a verdict of death “by the visitation of God.”
What could the world do without juries?
- Roughing It
The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal
practical joke upon the world, but since we have the
system we ought to try and respect it.
A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we
reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must
be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart a
nd perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.
-”Foster’s Case,” New York Tribune, 3/10/1873
Just tell them you know the defendant. Worked for me.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE LIBERTY COMPLETELY CRUSHED HERE, BY ALL MEANS AVOID JURY DUTY!
The state/feds will fill the juries out with welfare recipients, government employees, school teachers and, one-by-one send the rest of us to prison under their “Create-a-Crime” program.
LIE — just as if you were a federal agent on the stand — if you must to remain on the jury, but REMAIN ON THE JURY!
Our freedoms are secured by 4 BOXES:
THE SOAP BOX (1ST AMENDMENT);
THE BALLOT BOX (ACORN IS IN THE PROCESS OF STEALING THAT ONE);
THE JURY BOX!!! and, as the very last resort,
THE CARTRIDGE BOX (IF THE SALES OF GUNS AND AMMO ARE ANY INDICATOR, WE MAY BE CLOSER TO THAT SAD SITUATION THAN SINCE 1861)
“Did you really think that we want those laws to be observed?” said Dr. Ferris. “We want them broken. You’d better get it straight that it’s not a bunch of boy scouts you’re up against - then you’ll know that this is not the age for beautiful gestures. We’re after power and we mean it. You fellows were pikers, but we know the real trick, and you’d better get wise to it.
“There’s no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What’s there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced nor objectively interpreted -and you create a nation of law-breakers - and then you cash in on guilt. Now that’s the system, Mr. Rearden, that’s the game, and once you understand it, you’ll be much easier to deal with.”
p.411, Ayn Rand, ATLAS SHRUGGED, Signet Books, NY, 1957
I sympathize with the feller here - it is, after all, a major hit on your time. So is getting tossed in jail for contempt of court. He won't have a jury standing between him and that, but if he did, who'd be on it?
He needed his wife’s help to write that? If so then I don’t think I’d want him on any jury I was depending on.
I have been called for jury duty several times over the last 30 years. Each time, I am asked to fill out a form with several questions. One of them asks what I do for a living. I tell them (truthfully), “I am a Registered Professional Engineer (PE)”. After that, I have never been instructed to report for duty. I seriously don’t think they want engineers on a jury.
Gallatin County has plenty of ‘rats. The lawyers should subsidize juror pay to make it more attractive to serve than to go to work. Jurors are part of the reason lawyers make more money than the average Joe (see John Edwards). The jurors need better pay.
Anyone who wants out of jury duty needs to do just one thing:
Enter court wearing a “David Duke For President” t-shirt.