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thanks man.

In it’s entirety:

HANGMAN’S GROVE, WEST VIRGINIA — William Robert Kräukur, President and CEO of the Klu Klux Klan (KKK), has chosen Senator Robert Byrd (D-Wva.) as this year’s recipient of the KKK’s Lifetime Achievement Award. The award was presented at the 133rd Annual KKK Transparent Image Awards, taped last night and scheduled to air October 15th (8:00 p.m. ET.) on FOX.

“The Lifetime Achievement Award reflects individuals at the pinnacle of their respective fields who’ve made significant contributions to the success of the KKK,” Kräukur said. “Senator Byrd exemplifies this prestigious award; no living person has worked as hard as he has to keep the black man dependant upon, and subservient to, the white man. Not to mention his outstanding work against Jews and Catholics.”

Senator Byrd’s legislative accomplishments, as well as his ascension as the only KKK alumnus to serve as the Majority Leader of the US Senate, a post he served in for six years (1977-80, 1987-88), made him an obvious choice for this year’s Lifetime Achievement Award. “This distinction, awarded to those who advance the ideals of the KKK through personal achievement and service to all people of Caucasian and protestant heritage, accurately describes the contributions Senator Byrd has made to our racially pure organization,” Kräukur said.

Born in 1917 in North Wilkesboro, North Carolina Robert Byrd was orphaned when his mother was killed in a tragic sausage making accident. Taken to West Virginia by his Auntie Belham and Uncle Peduncle, the future KKK Lifetime Achievement recipient grew up mastering life’s early lessons, like learning the proper way to tie a noose. Unable to receive a taxpayer-funded college education, Senator Byrd sought to make a buck wherever he found an opportunity—pumping gas at a filling station, working as a white sheet salesman, and then becoming a “Kleagle” in the Klu Klux Klan—picking up new skills as he advanced. One of those skills—recruiting other white, protestant bigots for the KKK—was in demand at the time, and he worked during the war years of the early 1940’s building the rank and file of the Klan.

After WWII came to an end, Byrd had a vision of what his state and nation should be: a bastion of ignorant, inbred, government-subsidized, white racists. In 1946, in his first attempt at elected office, he was elected to the West Virginia House of Delegates. After that he went on to serve in the US House of Representatives and the US Senate. He has served longer in the United States Senate than anyone else in West Virginia’s history, an indication of the moral depravity and lack of work ethic of most West Virginians.

In presenting the award to Senator Byrd, William Robert Kräukur remarked, “Senator Byrd is living proof that being a member of the KKK is not an insurmountable obstacle, so long as you are resolved to push forward against decency and realize your dreams. He filibustered the 1964 Civil Rights Act. He opposed the nominations of the only Negro justices of the Supreme Court. And he fought valiantly against integrating the military when he wrote, ‘I vow never to fight with a Negro by my side. Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.’ That is why I am honored to salute Senator Robert Byrd as this year’s KKK Lifetime Achievement Award recipient.”

In accepting the award, Byrd reflected on his years serving the interests of Klan members and remarked, “The Klan is needed today as never before and I am anxious to see its rebirth in every state in the Union.”

Last year’s KKK Lifetime Achievement Award went to Bill Clinton. The KKK Transparent Image Awards are presented each year to those who strive to deny meaningful opportunities for, and inflict insurmountable harm on, African Americans, Jews, and all other “race mongrels.” Past recipients have included David Duke, Barbara Boxer, Jesse Jackson, Michael Jackson, and Martha Stewart.
© Copyright 2002 Nathan Porter