The New Epidemic: "Optical Rectitis"
Poor judgment and bad decisions have become the new epidemic,
Termed "Optical Rectitis." "When we cross our optical nerves with our
rectal nerves, we get a crappy outlook on the Nation." Its symptoms mask a
deeper plague, "Palpetis of the Punk," which reduces the effectiveness
of Congress and risks the well-being of Senators and Representatives.
The symptoms are everywhere - failed legislation, discredited
legislators, revolving-door Czars, public dishonesty, abuse of
power, superficial strategies, and failed initiatives. Optical Rectitis has
erupted in The Senate and The House alike. Its onset begins with the
germination of viral attitudes that gradually spread from one Legislator
to another until the virus eats away the vital resistance to ill-conceived
strategies. Eventually Optical Rectitis erodes confidence in the Der Leader in
The White House and overcomes the well-being of legislative efforts.
Very good.
Should be placed in Websters and Funk & Wagnals. Maybe even Guiness Book of World Records. Of course pictures of the individual(s) are also in order to punctuate the entry.
You may be confusing it with “oral rectitis”: Talking out of ones @$$.