I would go out on a limb and guess that the wived knew the truth. Whether they are telling the truth or not, our trusted allies (bumbling fools, but of course we believe them when they say they knew nothing in advance) have an information source that could answer that question.
I see your point, that the wives could have told the Pockis a son escaped.
I wonder if he dressed up as a woman. I can’t see tghe SEALS missing someone.