[USNBandit]

I never thought of the carbon emissions from cremation before.

I'm going to change my will to request cremation in a coal fired oven, with whale oil for the accelerant, an urn made of wood illegally harvested from a rain forest, and have my ashes dumped into the ventilation system at the nearest IRS office.

[shhrubbery!]

I never thought of the carbon emissions from cremation before. I'm going to change my will to request cremation in a coal fired oven, with whale oil for the accelerant, an urn made of wood illegally harvested from a rain forest, and have my ashes dumped into the ventilation system at the nearest IRS office.

Funniest post I've seen on FR in years.

And you've inspired me to change my "last wishes" document too. Sure will burn my lefty in-laws, if they survive me.

[Abathar]

I’ve already decided that when I die I want my family to build me a huge funeral pyre in the backyard with plenty of wood and old tractor tires. That way all the greenies for miles around can see the huge smoke plume on the horizon and say “Alright, who’s the a****** putting all that pollution in the air.”