While my relatives weren't involved in the melee of that time, I can totally see why folks would be freaked out by this matter.
The scariest thing about the whole thing, IMHO, is the "could it happen again," scenarios. Depersonalize the enemy (North or South), then raid, kill, pillage (+ revenge) as an entitlement -- bad stuff.
That area of the country isn't clearly "South/North" and a lot of innocent people were hurt, to say the least.
A decent history knowledge would be most helpful; unfortunately, I'm behind on that front, and playing catch-up. I can only imagine the impact of historical revisionism on current school textbooks...
Both sides committed atrocities and provocations in this conflict. Honorable behavior was in short supply.
I do wish that the history of that place and time was more widely known. It has mostly, except for the Lawrence raid, gone down the memory hole.