Reagan and Nancy were Hollywood folk, had a lot of gay friends and exposure to gays in the movie industry I think left him about as comfortable with homosexuals as a man of his times was likely to be. So probably somewhat more tolerant than Carter/Mondale, but not accepting or condoning by current standards. Like a lot of issues, he talked the talk of religious conservatism, but he did not often walk the walk.
And I thought the absolute ban on gays in the military was in place long before his tenure. ?
Reagan instituted the specific policy directing service members be asked specifically. It was an excellent policy by the way.