Lol, I hear ya...much easier said than done though. Corpses are horribly messy, smelly, heavy, tough and surprisingly enduring. Anything that touches them becomes covered with "evidence". Contrary to poplar belief, they burn very poorly. (Crematories have retorts capable of generating a 3000 degree flame, and even that leaves an cadaver. The cremated remains have to be mechanically smashed and large matter sifted out to produce the familiar ash.) Corpses float well, too. I can't recall the bouyancy values exactly, but a decomposing body has the power to float even when encased in a concrete-filled container.
If its any help, the Thuggees used to cut deep gashes in the abdomen so that the corpse wouldn’t bloat and float back to the top...