Posted on 04/12/2012 9:22:08 AM PDT by doug from upland
A Funny Book about Worthless Degrees
By Charlotte Allen
...Since none of these degrees help increase your employability, you might as well avoid these majors and do it on your own."
The above is an excerpt from one of the funnier paragraphs in "Worthless: The Young Person's Indispensable Guide to Choosing the Right Major" (Paric Publications), Aaron Clarey's hilarious primer for college students who would like to work as something other than nannies and theater interns after graduation.
Worthless degree.pngClarey, a fairly recent economics major (apparently) at the University of Minnesota, can seem at times humanities-challenged (you don't "read" Socrates but, rather, Plato presumably channeling Socrates), and the punctuation in this obviously self-published book will make grammarians wince (Clarey doesn't think much of his seventh-grade English teacher "still teaching English to English-speaking kids"). Still, at 173 short and highly readable pages, "Worthless" ought to be required reading for every college undergraduate even thinking about concentrating in what passes for the liberal arts these days, much less taking on soul-crushing student debt in order to do so.
Boiled down to a few words, Clarey's message is this: Do not under any circumstance waste your or your parents' time, money, and credit rating to acquire a degree titled "Bachelor of Arts." Those degrees are the "worthless" sheepskins of Clarey's book title. Instead, focus on degrees that will promise you a decent living when you graduate. Those degrees are titled "Bachelor of Science," they almost invariably lie in the "STEM" fields (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics), as well as statistics and accounting, and they involve the mastery of math.
Skip Women's Studies--China and India Do
"Yes, math," Clarey writes. "I know at this point most people have probably tuned out. They didn't like math in school. They probably weren't very good at math. And for the most part, people just plain don't like math. To that I respond with one simple word: 'Tough.'" That's because, as Clarey explains, math-based majors produce graduates whom the economy demands--because they are trained to work in fields that produce goods and services that other people want, from cars to healthcare to computer-game consoles. "This not only goes a long way in explaining why liberal art majors face high unemployment and low-paying jobs, but also explains why we have a trade deficit with the likes of China and India whose students DO major in the fields that produce the goods we want," he writes. Clarey maintains that although math may be hard, "it is understandable by the average human brain" as long as the owner of that brain is determined to "turn off the reality TV show, or set down the video game controller, and focus his efforts towards learning math."
The most entertaining sections of "Worthless" contain anecdotes about hapless college graduates who got suckered into spending four years majoring in women's studies--or sociology, anthropology, psychology, or environmental studies--by guidance counselors and proselytizing professors. There's the graduate of the University of Oregon "with degrees in international studies and sociology and a double minor in nonprofit administration and African studies"--now living with her parents after her dream of working for a nonprofit fell through despite her sending out 70 job applications. There's the English major whose most lucrative employment consisted of an internship that didn't pay enough for him to buy food. There's the guy who took out $35,000 in student loans to earn a master's degree in puppetry, only to discover that the best job he could get was as a substitute teacher. "What did you expect with a MASTERS in PUPPETRY?" asks Clarey. (Puppetry falls into a category of degrees that Clarey describes as "New Age Crap," bearing such titles as "Peace Studies," "Social Justice," "Holistic Medicine," and "Master's in Outdoor Recreation."
Clarey reserves his most scathing scorn for majors in "Hyphenated-American" studies. That means "African-American Studies," "Gay/Bi/Lesbian/Transgender-American Studies," and so forth. "Frankly, these are particularly dirty and low degrees, in that they are not only worthless, but they target minority groups as their victims," Clarey writes, pointing out that blacks aren't helped economically by paying tuition to explore their black identity--nor gays helped by paying to explore their gay identity. He can't resist pointing out (via a pie graph on page 133) that 68 percent of the worthless degrees awarded at his alma mater, the University of Minnesota, go to women--which might help account for the supposed "wage gap" between the sexes. His advice to females who want to close that gap: Try majoring in a STEM field (only about 20 percent of engineering degrees go to women, so among the other benefits of the major is "that you'll never be without a date," Clarey writes).
As a recipient of a "worthless" college degree myself (I double-majored in English and classics), I wish that Clarey had devoted few more pages to discussing exactly why the liberal arts have become radically devalued in the eyes of prospective employers. Not too long ago a bachelor's degree in history or philosophy signaled that you were smart and could write well, two qualities that employers prized (and still do). Now, a B.A. seems to signal, "I'm a parasite" in search of make-work at a nonprofit, as Clarey bluntly puts it.
The College-for-Everyone Illusion
Clarey does touch on one reason for the decline of the liberal-arts degree: the insistence that everyone, even the academically untalented, go to college. "[T]oday's college degree is the equivalent of the 1950's high school diploma," Clarey writes--and grade inflation hasn't helped. But he doesn't touch on the other reason: the contents of the majors themselves. It's not just that there's a "women's studies" major (and even a doctoral program at some universities); it's that entire academic fields have turned into sub-sectors of women's studies--that is, predictably politicized. To major in English at many institutions these days, you're no longer required to take a course in Shakespeare, but a course in "post-colonial feminist film" is practically mandatory. It's no wonder that employers write off English majors as airheads and look for resumes where the initials "B.S." indicate that the degree's bearer has learned something that might be useful on the job. It's too bad that learning a vocational "trade" or "skill"--as Clarey points out--seems to be the only valid reason for going to college nowadays, but the humanities have only themselves to blame.
That quibble of mine aside, young people thinking about college will do themselves a favor--and also have a few belly-laughs--by reading this book. Some of them, as Clarey hopes, may even decide to bypass college altogether and go directly into learning a trade. (Plumbers and skilled mechanics earn a lot more than substitute teachers.) Or, as Clarey suggests, join the military, where "they will be more than happy to give you serious work." And serious work is better training for the world of work than any pile of degrees.
Don’t buy worthless books about worthless degrees.
A good education in theology and philosophy is worth its weight in gold, but it won’t get you a job.
And you can get a better education on your own rather than in most colleges today.
Anyone who is honest, works hard, has common sense and can communicate well, can succeed in business.
I don’t care whether my kids go to college.
Not hardly. Not every one can do math at an advanced level. We're not talking arithmetic here, which plenty of people still can't do.
But, even if it were so, without math, nothing important is going to be discovered. God was a mathematician. You can ttell by the way He built the Universe.
True.
But I’m not going to get in debt up to my eyeballs just to get a mere chance of consideration.
My son told me he doesn’t want to go to college. If he doesn’t want to go that’s fine with me. He might take welding classes.
“Get a degree in engineering, you’ll never be unemployed until the day you turn 50..”
I have a degree in Engineering. I have worked for the same company since 1992.
She buried the lede.
Which programs are these, that teach math “the right way”? Is there a brand name, or buzz word I should look for?
I can’t remember when I first heard it but one of the more insightful comments I remember about college course names is “If they have to put the word “Science” in the title - it’s not.”
Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house. ~Robert Heinlein
He can sure say that again. I bought into the college lie, ended up with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. I had planned to get an MBA, but I had accumulated so much debt by the time I finished the first four years. I just couldn't afford anymore. During the same time, two of my high school friends took night classes as the local Vo-Tech center and apprenticed in a trade. Now one is a Pipefitter making over $100,000 a year and the other does heating/AC work and makes around $80,000 a year. And me? I'm sitting in a mid level management position making around $50K and still paying off college debt.
With a few exceptions, Engineering, Pre-Med hard sciences, college has been feminized to the point that is worthless. Those mid level jobs are dead jobs for women to go in and out of beteeen babies.
Ditto here. I'm liking the idea that my complete inability to jibe with math is all because I was taught it in the wrong way!
At the high school level, I would look for texts used by home shchool families, and steer way, way, far way from anything that started in California.
At the college level, and with an aim toward a degree in engineering, I would recommend the usual calculus series and some courses in the practical application of probability. You would be amazed at how badly some companies manage their technical (and therefore their business) risks. Being able to express yourself in the language of profit and loss will make you useful in bridging the gap between management and technical.
I was in college in the 70’s and then, a science BA required taking two years of foreign language while a BS took one. Also, the BA degree was not required to take Calculus, while the BS degree required it. Otherwise, the degrees had identical scientific coursework.
I use a free online tudor thing called Khan Academy (maybe it’s Kahn?) to help my kid’s with their math. (I need to relearn the stuff to a point!) But then I just have them watch it now too and they say “Wow - this is easy when they explain it like this!”
1. Go after a BS in a STEM field from a major, accredited college or university. The kind that has enough name recognition to produce companies who actively offer internships, and actively offer employment to graduates of that school.
1. a) Try to graduate with a minimum of a 3.0 GPA from this school, as that's often the cut-off for top-notch employers.
1. b) Get some kind of internship while in school. Many schools offer credits for internships, but more importantly, hiring companies almost expect some kind of experience. PT summer jobs at McDonald's or Starbucks usualy aren't the kind of experience they want.
2. If your major is NOT in a STEM field, at least try to minor in a STEM field. If you don't major in a STEM field, 1a and 1b are crucial.
3. Though I don't have a lot of anecdotes on those with online degrees, if you have an online STEM degree, there could be some hope for a job. This is particularly true if you have an IT degree, with some in-demand languages or skills. I don't know if internships are possible through online programs, but if they are, experience would go a long way with such a degree.
4. If your major or minor isn't in a STEM field, and you have either a less than 3.0 GPA or no internship experience, prepare to really dig down to sell yourself to a company. Consider a stint in the military; though they typically like technical degrees from students who excel in their classes, perhaps they'll consider you if you're in shape.
5. If you have a non-STEM degree, that focuses on "Studies," do NOT--under any circumstances--choose grad school, unless you're independently wealthy. Having a graduate degree in such a program might eventually allow you to teach somewhere, but you'll forever be paying back student loans. The military is probably not an option, though you might be able to swing a deal with Americorp or the Peace Corps. If those aren't suited to you, you may look into long-term employment at Starbucks, and start a blog. You may eventually get .02 per page viewed, which will add to your income. Good luck with that.
That's even questionable for the OWS protesters?
≤}B^)
One eng professor told our class:
‘If the foreword of the book has to explain why the subject is a ‘Science’, then you know it’s not.’
"Master of Puppets" was a pretty decent album. Prob sold a couple of million.
But I don't think that this is the same thing. :-)
Then I asked him how much would it cost? His range was between $40K - $100K.
I told him to save his time and his money. I recommended he pursue a second skill set relating to the oil & gas industry. There's a demand for those skills now, and is likely to continue for decades.
After thinking about it, I should've taken that advice 20 years ago.
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