Jane Austen’s Advice: Choose the Right Man and Live Happily Ever After

Townhall.com ^ | April 18, 2012 | Rebecca Hagelin

[Bigg Red]

Nice list....

(....but I didn’t see anything about cooking and cleaning, and laundry....)

[Tax-chick]

I’m sure the usual kerfluffle has erupted, but I think this could be an interesting book for my teenage daughters. We can pull up the costume dramas on the Netflix beeber, too.

I liked the point that “drama” is not the key to a good relationship. Many of the popular songs they listen to treat drama as the main attraction, overriding character, humor, common interests ...

[trailhkr1]

Very interesting discussion on the thread. I will add another comment: Feminism is one of the main drivers of the ruination of marriage by ruining women's actual femininity and the real value of womanhood.

Feminism in some degree had some value at first though today it is way, way, overboard. I would never want to go back to the 40-50's style of life where women were hurt in the workforce and left out of job opportunities just because they were women.

Divorce is the same way. We have way too many divorces today and people take their marriage vows way to lightly but I would not want to go back to the 1940-50's where people stayed in unhappy or abusive marriages due to social/religious pressure to do so or they (women) did not have career prospects to fall back on.

[trailhkr1]

Ok, went back and read it. No problem.

[Interesting Times]

Literature for people who don't read. Lovely.

"What's on this afternoon?" he asked tiredly. She didn't look up from her script again. "Well, this is a play comes on the wall-to-wall circuit in ten minutes. They mailed me my part this morning. I sent in some box-tops. They write the script with one part missing. It's a new idea. The home-maker, that's me, is the missing part. When it comes time for the missing lines, they all look at me out of the three walls and I say the lines: Here, for instance, the man says, `What do you think of this whole idea, Helen?' And he looks at me sitting here centre stage, see? And I say, I say --" She paused and ran her finger under a line in the script. " `I think that's fine!' And then they go on with the play until he says, `Do you agree to that, Helen!' and I say, `I sure do!' Isn't that fun, Guy?"

[what's up]

I was precisely clear before we got married what acceptable means as far as bedroom stuff. Twice a week. Once a month lingerie, and occasional surprise in a dress and heels when I get home from work

Hmmm. Did you have a problem with porn before you married her? If so, the problem is not her. Perhaps she feels that you're using her as a substitute for your porn fantasies rather than relating to her personally in the bedroom.

You need to talk to her about this issue. I mean talk...not demand. That means finding out EXACTLY what is bothering her about the lingerie/dress thing and why does it turn her off. Does she feel that you're making love to a stand-in i.e. one of your porn figures?

Talking about it is very hard to do...because neither she nor you may be able to articulate well if you haven't discussed it before. It may take time to formulate your thoughts. But this will likely continue to be a problem for you (the evidence is that you say it happened with Wife #1 too so may be a pattern) until there is some real verbal communication in this area which admittedly is often one of the most difficult things for couples to discuss.

[SamAdams76]

Alcohol free?

Maybe if you're planning on dating Carrie Nation.

[Shimmer1]

I met the most intriguing man on the plane the other day. sigh. But he didn’t ask for my number. Too bad! He’d have been such a good fit here, that’s how intriguing he was. LOL

[Shimmer1]

He’s Just Not That Into You was the book that opened my eyes. NOT the movie, never saw the movie. Just the book.

[Shimmer1]

Because many men really dislike women, as your post shows. Yikes!

[Shimmer1]

That’s sad, because it’s true too, too many times. I don’t like the broad brush thing against women, because a broad brush would catch many a man, among whom are sometimes those who are doing the most complaining. But your post is true. sigh

[Shimmer1]

There is a FReeper who married a beautiful, young Filipina who did that very thing. Used him to get citizenship papers and left him for a young man. Broke his heart. But oh no, American women are stinkers. And here many of us sit, with traditional values and passed by because other women are superficial.

[Shimmer1]

We were both wonderin’ LOL

[Osage Orange]

alcohol free?

heaven forfend.

ROFLOL!!

[Osage Orange]

HaHa!!

[Shimmer1]

That’s so sad. I’m sorry.

[Shimmer1]

You didn’t laugh at him to his face, did you???? LOL at the way you put it.

[Osage Orange]

Men really like that garbage.

Wow...totally not in my world. EVER!

[fini]

Yeah, something like almost happened at in our marriage. Menopause went roaring through the house. My wife and I had some serious discussions. We worked it out, but I had some "none negotiable" clauses and I had to show her that I was very close to moving out of the house before she realized that: I did have options and we both love each other.

[Osage Orange]

Apparently you did the impossible......