Posted on 06/19/2012 1:54:32 PM PDT by posterchild
Way too much to go into on a message board, and it’s more of a generational legacy thing than anything.
You can explore it on your own if you choose, or not.
It took me about 6 years of husband/dadhood, study and prayer to arrive where I am. I’m not going to even try to convince someone on a message board as I can’t post 6 years of studies and experience.
Such as....?
"Bitter feelings" are damn near endemic to women without adequate leadership.
I think I'm going to have to choose not. Since it's a done deal, I did stay home, and the children are now adults, right or wrong, at this point it simply is. I can't see any utility in anything more than causally discussing it here.
As your sons and our grandson get older they will realize what treasures their grandfathers are. There are times I see glimpses of our grandson’s pain and I know if I sat down to cry over this, I would cry forever. I cannot imagine how the fathers live with themselves. Our grandson is so special. He has a kind and gentle heart, he is funny, so smart and talented. His father has missed all of this. Plus, he has missed all that love...and in the long run, it cost him the respect of his son. That was a high price to pay for being so self centered and selfish.
I think each family has to make its own decisions. One obvious issue is that a mother is uniquely qualified to take care of babies. As I tell my family, “I’m the only one who can feed her, but that doesn’t mean I’m the only one who can change a diaper!”
I also think that emphasizing a father’s paycheck is the wrong way to go. A father’s key role is as an active guide to adulthood for his children. Work is part of that, but not just work-to-make-money. Beyond the basics, most of what a family needs doesn’t cost a lot of money.
I want to add what I wrote above. I don't think the arrangement you and your wife had was wrong in any way... it worked for and that is all that matters. I do think perceptions of the man staying home as less than worthy is going away as more of this happens.
I have no problem with strong women as some do....
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