Adoption is such a beautiful gift. It can change a circumstance that looks so foreboding into one of God's miracles. What must be one of the toughest decisions a mother could make, may end up being the greatest act of love she could do.
I so wish we could get away from the idea of open adoptions. How can a child truly have the clarity they deserve?
When a friend of mine was on his last days, he asked his son to have me join he and his family. I was reluctant since I didn't want to intrude on something so personal, and something that is so familial. He was extremely agitated until his son told him, "Tell him I will be there as soon as I can."
We were best friends in spite of 35 to 40 year age difference. He was also one of those extremely rare individuals that one could call great. We worked on projects that sometimes raised my eyebrows on who was involved. For all his greatness, his larger than life personality, the thing that matter most to him was sharing his love with his family, sharing the love of his Great Lord.
In the end, the fact that a child comes from others matters little. What matters is the love shared along the way.
To be honest, one reason we chose to adopt from China was because of the adoption process here, and the idea that it would have to be an open adoption. We had neighbors that went the open adoption route and all seemed well for the first few years, until the biological mother was no longer a teenager and wanted much more contact with the then little five year old. She found out where the girl went to school and would show up at their house unannounced. She wanted to be able to take the girl places, and mentioned how she was really mommy in front of the confused little girl. The adoptive parents wanted to stay in contact, but it was confusing
for the little girl, the biological mother acted like she was going to steal “her” daughter back and the family became scared for their little girl. They eventually moved and I believe the judge gave them a restraining order
against the biological mother. The little girl knows she’s adopted, is about 10 now and very happy.