[SWAMPSNIPER]

I seriously dated a woman for a while, until I found out that all the kitchen knives in her apartment were locked up in a box and hidden under the bed.

She constantly worried that someone would break in and attack her with one of her own knives.

When I met her mother I instantly learned the root of the problem, the whole family is nuts.

Her niece was fired from a local fast food chain after I jokingly told her that tomatoes scream silently when you cut them. She walked into work the next day and refused to slice the tomatoes.

She was out in the street in a New Jersey heartbeat!

[deoetdoctrinae]

Registration, then confiscation, of all knives. It's the only way to ensure tomato safety. /s