I used to agree with your line of thought, but putting hate crimes on the books changes the game. Now, to keep up with these idiotic laws, it should be equally evil for all to use the term.
I’m not in favor of hate crimes legislation either.
My thought is that people were wronged. I don’t ever want to use a term that hearkens back to that time.
People can be all sorts of things, but harkening back to a time of slavery isn’t a place I want to go.
I do know that some people’s behavior can be very trying. I’ve had Whites try me that way too. I just don’t want to use the N word.