You have my sympathy GailA. Is the housing situation stable at least? I cannot imagine the stress on your DIL.
Nothing is stable, they rent a run down trailer that they pay monthly on twice a month. She is fed up with his laziness. And I am so very sorry that I told her to remarry him, so he would have so say so in her health care decision making. She’d done better kicking him out. And he need not come to me for shelter. I would take in my DIL and grandson, but not my worthless acting son. I’ve seen the stress she is under, she has been the sole support for a year now. What little he makes/made paid the cable, cigs and phones. Of which only the Phones are necessary. Her income as a CNA which prevents her from going back to work barely paid the other bills. No health ins either. Which is why she is on Breast & cervical cancer Medicaid.
TOUGH LOVE, may hurt, but if you don’t learn it by 43 you will never learn it. I have more health conditions than his piddly type 2 diabetes which he can control with mostly diet.