Look, I am a helicopter parent and I can tell you, the “parents” I am around think I am a freak because I am a straight arrow. I do not cotton to kids drinking underage, lying to get kids into movies they are not supposed to see, leaving kids at home so I can go to LA with my “boyfriend” for a few days, and other assorted shocking stuff that goes on every fricking day. I am here and if my daughter is at a Christian conference with a group of girls and calls me with a headache and wants to come home, you best believe I am reachable immediately by cell phone, sober, and ready willing and able to get in the car and go get her asap. Yes, I guard my children. I make sure they have new tires, new windshield wipers and batteries before the ice hits, I do not want them broken down to be preyed on by criminals.
I cook clean and I stand guard at the house. If the kids come here, I will order pizza. But it is very much like the 50s at my house. I am here constantly and sober. They know I am concerned about them and expect them to be on the straight and narrow. They know I am not out running around chasing men or ruining lives. They know I go to church. Do what is expected. Pay the bills.
That is not helicoptering parenting. That is being a loving parent. I congratulate you. You could probably not conceive of what many mean by a helicopter parent. They control every aspect of their children’s life. They are involved in every facet from daily calls to teachers and coaches, to overseeing any activity themselves to be sure it goes “right”. Making sure their child can get into Harvard when they are still in kindergarten. Please realize I meant no disrespect to your style of parenting. I share the values you espoused. But I agree firmly with the author that children need manageable risks and to make choices and see the consequences from early in life. Responsibility and judgement are learned from experience and from models in their everyday life.