Ok so that put QUITE a picture in my head. You’ve thought this through, right? ;}
Sounds like what my neighbor said as I described a cat that had “violated” the pet-human contract. She was rumored to have a “screw loose” but I wondered about “kitty schizophrenia.” Lying purring on a human lap, she would then claw and bite for a few seconds - be shoved off the lap and land on the ground - look around a little and then try to get back on the human lap for more petting, then act insulted when not allowed. I crossed a room and this cat attacked my legs, slapping left-right with paws - her claws getting caught in the fabric of my pants. It wasn’t play - you CAN tell when they are playing.
Anyway, the owner asked me to write a Kitty Adoption advertisement - now THAT was tough trying to write an enticing advertisement that includes the information that the cat will attack unprovoked. To my utter amazement - the vet technician at the beast’s veterinarian’s office gave that thing a home the DAY it was brought to the office to be euthanized (for violent tendencies) - even after I clarified previously alluded to ...ahem...”her street manners!”
My friend, listening to this account said something like your toilet-bowl-brush comment. His was more veiled - should a cat violate certain assumed contractual agreements...said cat would meet with overwhelming negative consequences which would, without a doubt, prohibit those unwanted behaviors from EVER occurring again.....I like yours better - bolder and visual, IMHO.
LOL
I would, at a minimum, put a contract on that cougar.