Have they checked to see where the Occupy Wall Street freaks are at, they are known for taking dumps on city streets
I was terribly disappointed that this was only happening in Ypsi, Ann Arbor's no-class (as opposed to low-class) neighbor. Still, this could be one of America's elite, getting in training for Occupy-Something-Ritzy, which leaves out all of Michigan.
This has been kept a secret all this time, but warmer weather makes things harder to keep covered. Maybe this sudden publicity will inspire copycat poopers, or this guy may randomize his attacks to make it look like more than one person, and confuse the scent.
However, under no condition should this be done anywhere near a mosque. Two summers ago, a dhimmi tossed out a bag of ripe pork offal, obtained as a treat from the butcher for his dogs, that he forgot for a week in the bed of his pickup. It was 3AM on a dark and twisty Oakland County back road, and he figured he'd at least give the woodland vermin a treat.
Unbeknownst to him, a few feet away was an almost-invisible gravel path that turned into a well-manicured, prosperous mosque on prime lake shoreline. And his bag of critter-treats landed on the property line between the putting-green-lawn, and the trashy lot next to it.
The groundskeeper discovered the surprise before any critter did, the next morning as he started his Friday morning mowing. It became front page news in print media, and lead stories online, all over Michigan by dinner time. It also had about seven different police jurisdictions, media types, FBI, DHS, State (federal, not East Lansing), community leaders, and several unidentified brands of community leaders wringing hands, or flaming away, on both sides of the cameras. Although there was no further hard evidence being released, there were prominent front-page blurbs for several days reminding Michigan about it, including the imminent formation of a federal inter-agency task force to catch the criminal or criminals involved. "Tea Party" and "Republicans" were the only "usual suspects" mentioned by name.
Around next Thursday, Joe Pickup, who was livin' the good life in Michigan by working three part-time jobs, managed to catch the daily search update. He thought the description of the countryside sounded familiar, since he took that road often. Then it dawned on him that HE was the perp, and kill-on-sight orders had already been given through the FBI to any sheep-dipped SOF or contractors, who would have been the "federal advisers" that didn't have names, and nothing to do but hang out in generic OD green BDUs with generic body armor, and vey high-end weapons and electronics.
Joe Pickup didn't want to be Ruby-Ridged, and hoped they hadn't been able to task any armed UAVs yet, so he arranged a very public, and media-accessible, surrender in a suburban park close to major civilization. The on-site federal command authority even had all the streets and intersections around the park blocked off to allow good camera access for ground and air crews.
After telling his story consistently over a dozen times, and with dozens of character witnesses, and another bag of fresh(er) pork leavings for his dogs that he picked up from the butcher, everyone laughed and proclaimed it a silly misunderstanding, and everyone left to turn in their rental cars and aircraft, or their agency airlift assets.
In the print version of the wrap-up, an unnamed spokesperson for an unnamed federal agency admitted that everyone enjoyed a good, harmless laugh at the end, with no hard feelings. And this was a "teachable moment" to show how smoothly and intensively government agencies would work together had it been the "real thing".