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This is the heart of it: surrogacy, which splits up motherhood into three fragments --- genetic mother vs gestational mother vs legal mother --- was not designed with the rights or needs of the child in mind.

No child "needs" to have his/her identity divided up among 3 people (throw the sperm-vendor and the legal father in there, and you have 5.) No child "asks" to be the product of a laboratory procedure. No child "wants" to wonder about his natural kinship and his natural identity.

In short, it's not done with the needs, wants, or rights of the child at the center.

It is centered on the desires of adults, done to satisfy the new-reproductive-technology industry and the exigencies of the baby market.

This is wrong. It's just wrong-in-itself.

And this is not an argument against adoption, which is responding to the needs of a child who,after-the-fact, by some sad chance, cannot be raised by his natural parents, but needs a family. Adoption is an adaptation to the needs of an already-existing child.

Kids are deprived of their natural father and mother by tragedy, sad circumstance, or chance. No child should be deprived by choice.

I was adopted, as was my younger brother. At birth. My parents' names are on my birth certificate. I've never had any need to search out my biological parents, I figure it was a guy going to Vietnam.

Of course I'm curious, but my parents were great, as I've said many times here.

As for surrogacy, I can't really say. I understand couples who can't have kids. Just adopt!

Bah- loney. Your parent is the person who parented you. Parenting is a verb. A guy who has an orgasm in the back seat of a car or in a clinic to conceive you isn’t a daddy. A woman who donated some eggs in college isn’t a mommy.

Your only parents are those who love and cherish and raise you. If the people who raised you were cruel to you, even they don’t deserve the title of parents. LONG LIVE ACTUAL PARENTS. They love, they work, they ache, they’d take a bullet for you.

Genetics is just a parlor trick. No difference between children of your genes or adopted etc. Anyone who has had at least one genetic child and one no genetic child knows this. There is no difference.

Anyone here on FR want to rip into adoptive parents????? Bring it. This girl is stupid. Adoptive parents do often have to pay significant money to adopt. DOES THST MAKE THEM LESS OF PARENTS???? People who want to have children and are good parents deserve praise. This little chick doesn’t get it yet. She is at that age where she just finds things about her past to blame on her parents. Common.

“Most of the consideration within surrogacy is toward the adults and what they want. Often, it’s not in the best interests of the children.”

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Without the surrogacy, this child would not exist. I she thinking she would have been better off never having been born?

When 2 people have a child the ‘normal’ way, is not the same true, that it is about what the adults want?

“The question was so simple and dismissive,” she recalls. “Like I would choose this for myself? When the only reason you’re in this world is a big fat paycheck, it’s degrading.”

How many people only exist because of a big fat beer (or six)? Why is that less degrading than being wanted and paid for because of medical problems? I am not a big fan of surrogacy, although I find it hard to explain why I don't like it, but her excuse strikes me as impressively stupid.