Posted on 09/09/2014 7:45:10 AM PDT by tobyhill
Very interesting insights!
Most men I know handle it about like Laz... “Oh, I am so not dealing with you crazy self anymore!” Maybe because of the wiring difference, men are better able to shut down the emotional end of it or separate their emotions from the situation?
I do know people who make decisions based only on not being alone (A girl who used to be my neighbor told her husband he could do anything he wanted if he just wouldn’t leave her. Boy, did he take full advantage of that!)
I wasn’t one of those. I just wanted the person I fell in love with back. Maybe if I buy the RIGHT peanut butter next week and watch whatever he wants on TV and don’t ask where he was when he disappears for a day or two and don’t voice a contrary opinion and don’t have any thoughts of my own and...
Like I said, I was searching for the magic combination. But there isn’t one because not only are the rules endless, they’re also frustratingly fluid. Even a seemingly simple decision like doing your hair and putting on makeup has no certain, defined outcome. If you do, it’s “Who are YOU trying to impress?” If you don’t, it’s “What a disgusting slob you are. Too lazy to even make an effort.”
I know now he wasn’t abusive because of who I was but because of who HE was. He was abusive because he didn’t like himself not because he didn’t like me. But that took awhile to figure out. :-/
Thanks again for the insights! They’ll give me more to think about! I figure the better I can understand other people, the better I’ll understand myself. :-)
He did and his current wife, who was his girlfriend during all his tribulations thankfully stood by him and supported him........they are a wonderfully happy couple now.
As a side note, my last girlfriend's second husband was a mean drunk and a wife beater and the last straw was when he broke her jaw and kicked her out of the car on I'94 between Detroit and Ann Arbor..........
I can't imagine the fear you and other women go thru with abusive partners knowing that the system can't really protect you........
It’s very common for abuse victims to defend their abusers. They are conditioned to feel powerless and unable to survive without the help of the abuser.
Shame on Ray Rice for abusing his now wife.
I’m sorry you were abused, but I am glad you have survived.
Well done.
I think most men don’t think about things like that as they are typically able to physically confront any potential assailant. They simply are unaware of the reality women in those situations face.
Most women are not physically capable of confronting assailants/abusers, and if they do try to “raise a hand to their man” in self defense, they are “punished”.
Thank you! And it’s cliché but it made me a much stronger person.
You’re right. That’s what I meant when I said most men have never had to be afraid. I’m 5’3”. I’m not going to overpower anyone. The video showed what one punch from a guy can do. I’m no match for that. Being armed is the only way I can level the playing field.
A flaming liberal, rabidly anti-gun acquaintance and I have argued for years. (He knows I carry at all times.) He started in the last time we had dinner and I said, “Let me tell you a personal story.”
When I was done, he sat there quietly for a minute and finally said, “That’s the best argument for guns I’ve heard yet. Now I think women in your situation should be able to carry a gun.”
“But here’s the thing, my ex was only a danger to ME. With everyone else he was a nice, normal, rational guy. There are people in the world who are a danger to EVERYONE. I’m no more special than anyone else so shouldn’t they also have the right to defend themselves against someone who means them harm?”
He didn’t have anything say to that. But I know he’ll think about it. ;-)
Janay chose poorly.
Oh, and it made me raise my daughter differently than I probably would have. That’s another positive! :-)
Bingo, her meal ticket isn’t making millions anymore and the life of which she’s become accustomed is about to come to a screeching halt.
Let’s face facts here, some of these women marry these guys because they see money and a comfortable life. Betting she’s one of those types.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.