best way to get out of jury duty: “if he wasn;’t guilty, he wouldn’t have been arrested”
Best one I ever heard:
The Court is reviewing witness conflicts, and names a Dr. So and So from Boston as an expert witness, and then asks if anyone is related to him. A young woman sheepishly raises her hand and says "I had an affair with a Dr. So and So from that town a couple of years ago, but we broke up when he decided to stay with his wife. I'm not sure its the same Dr., but I thought I should mention it in case he was."
You never saw a team of attorneys move so fast to get a juror excused and out of the room.