Based on what you described, you sound like you are making the best of a bad situation. It sounds like you are living in your own personal cold war, with Mutually Assuered Destruction as your chosen deterrent. Well, it worked at the global level.
That is an interesting analogy that had not occurred to me but it does seem to describe the situation accurately. Despite everything, I still care for her.
She is under no danger of any kind, she does not get abused, I don’t cheat on her, I’m not a drunk or a deadbeat (I have never been late on a child support payment for my oldest son from 1st wife). We have a house with a small woods and a stream, she gets to work only half-time so she can homeschool two of the kids (one hers & one ours).
I am wondering if she is willing to basically suicide-bomb the family. She seems to be preparing to do just that. All so she can apparently indulge her feelings in some kind of “Eat Pray Love” crap.
The funny thing is that my net worth is negative. Primary assets are house which is probably underwater, and cars which are very OLD. Student loans, etc. On the positive side, I got found my passport this morning, and I am going to renew it as soon as possible.