She has always looked "oily" to me. I think she carries a small spray can of WD-40 for touching up if she loses some oil on a busy day.
I don't think she's allowed at public beaches for fear of causing an unsightly Oil Slick. Another good reason to keep her away from the beaches is she would be wearing less clothing and exposing more ugly than the environment could stand.
Forget about "Global Warming" and worry about "Global Barfing" with her around.
*Great Sanford & Son Aunt Esther comment. When she asserts "I wasn't born yesterday" Fred replies "I know....you can't get that ugly in 24 hours"