I am not unemployed or smuggling cigarette across da border
I don't eat Pepsi and Mae West for breakfass
h'I doan watch da hockey game doing it doggie style
And no,I don't know Claude, Manon or Francois from Abitibi-Temiscamingue
But I'm sure dey all ave nice teeth
I smoke in church
I speak Québécois in joual, not English and French
I pronounce it 'turd' not 'third'
And eating French Fries with cheese makes sense, mon ostie!
h'I believe in a distinc society, as long as someone else pay for it
I believe in language-police, not equal rights
And I believe dat La Club Super-Sexe is an appropriate place for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire
What da ell, she goes on at ten, anyway!
In Québec, da Stanley Cup actually comes around more often dan Haley's Comet
I can get beer at the depanneur, not the convenience store
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light,
But tabarnac, I can go right true it!
Because Québec is da world's largess producer of maple syrup
Da 'ome of Celine Dion and Roch Voisine
Da lann where everybody is shacking up and da legal drinking age is just a suggestion.
Je m'appelle Guy h'and I am NOT Canadian!
Mot, t'a dit tabarnac, ostie!
Merci, salute la vedette
Bien dit.