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Human Flesh-Craving Squirrels Are Attacking MTA Workers
Gothamist.com ^
| 29MAY2015
| Staff Writer
Posted on 05/30/2015 7:30:43 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine
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To: Jack Hydrazine
2
posted on
05/30/2015 7:32:37 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
To: Jack Hydrazine
3
posted on
05/30/2015 7:34:20 PM PDT
by
Texas Eagle
(If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
To: Jack Hydrazine
Be ironic if some NYC-based environmental organization discovered that the human-flesh-craving squirrels were some obscure, never-before-discovered species of rare squirrel that had a unique genome and must therefore fall under the protection of the Endangered Species Act.
4
posted on
05/30/2015 7:34:41 PM PDT
by
Steely Tom
(Vote GOP for A Slower Handbasket)
To: Jack Hydrazine
HEY! why can’t we raise a million squirrel flesh eating army and ship them off to Iran?
5
posted on
05/30/2015 7:34:50 PM PDT
by
lbryce
(Obama:Misbegotten, Godforsaken Bastard Offspring of Satan and Medusa)
To: Jack Hydrazine; JoeProBono; dfwgator
Earlier this month, a squirrel in the Bronx bit an MTA worker's finger, sending her to the hospital. Now, it appears squirrels have developed a taste for salty, delectable people flesh—a second MTA worker has been attacked by a squirrel, this time in the train car of a Coney Island-bound Q train. It's unclear whether the same squirrel was coming back for seconds, or if the city's squirrel population has teamed up with the coyotes to rid the city of all non-littering humans.Sounds like our kind of thread!
6
posted on
05/30/2015 7:36:02 PM PDT
by
Alex Murphy
("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
To: Jack Hydrazine
and what was she doing with her finger that close to the squirrel's mouth to begin with???
7
posted on
05/30/2015 7:36:39 PM PDT
by
Chode
(Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -w- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
To: Jack Hydrazine
All I could think was, we’re four months to early for Halloween pranks.
It is more likely rabid than going carnivorous.
8
posted on
05/30/2015 7:36:46 PM PDT
by
tbw2
To: lbryce
give them as pets to the yout in Baltimore and ship the whole kit and kaboodle over to iran!!
9
posted on
05/30/2015 7:36:52 PM PDT
by
MeshugeMikey
("Never, Never, Never, Give Up," Winston Churchill ><>)
To: Jack Hydrazine
Rabies, anyone? When normally docile or timid warm blooded wild animals attack humans or start acting weird, that’s the first thing I’d suspect. Either that or someone had the critter cornered and was messing with it.
10
posted on
05/30/2015 7:37:53 PM PDT
by
Smokin' Joe
(How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
To: Jack Hydrazine
Squirrels eating NYCers ping.
11
posted on
05/30/2015 7:38:25 PM PDT
by
rrrod
(Just an old guy with a gun in his pocket.)
To: Jack Hydrazine
It's unclear whether the same squirrel was coming back for seconds, or if the city's squirrel population has teamed up with the coyotes to rid the city of all non-littering humans. Oh. I see. All rodents look alike, eh? Sounds like rodential profiling to me.
Just kidding! Some of my best friends are squirrels. I have a sister who's married to a squirrel. We treat him like he's one of us. We judge him by the content of his character not the bushiness of his tail.
12
posted on
05/30/2015 7:39:10 PM PDT
by
Texas Eagle
(If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
To: lbryce
Good idea but lets test em first in blue states.....
13
posted on
05/30/2015 7:39:37 PM PDT
by
rrrod
(Just an old guy with a gun in his pocket.)
To: Darksheare
14
posted on
05/30/2015 7:40:05 PM PDT
by
moose07
(Islam and the New Stone age: A book i've not yet written.)
To: Jack Hydrazine
This would make a better movie than most remakes they are doing now.
Zombie Vampire Squirrels of the New York Under Ground.
15
posted on
05/30/2015 7:41:03 PM PDT
by
ThomasThomas
("YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!")
To: Jack Hydrazine
16
posted on
05/30/2015 7:41:37 PM PDT
by
tflabo
(Truth or tyranny)
To: MeshugeMikey
But don't forget to send both the kit AND Kaboodle. The last two times they either sent only the kit, then the next time only the Kaboodle.
And we all know how that turned out.
17
posted on
05/30/2015 7:41:41 PM PDT
by
lbryce
(Obama:Misbegotten, Godforsaken Bastard Offspring of Satan and Medusa)
To: Jack Hydrazine
So long as they don’t accuse the squirrel of being a right-wing tea partier that hates big government as represented by the MTA.
18
posted on
05/30/2015 7:42:31 PM PDT
by
Olog-hai
To: Smokin' Joe
19
posted on
05/30/2015 7:44:22 PM PDT
by
ponygirl
(Put. A. Bird. On. It.)
To: Jack Hydrazine
” city’s squirrel population has teamed up with the coyotes to rid the city of all non-littering humans.”
What the heck are they doing? Starting a gang?
I think there is a movie call “Day of the Animals (1977)”. The animals attack everyone taking revenge.
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