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Human Flesh-Craving Squirrels Are Attacking MTA Workers
Gothamist.com ^ | 29MAY2015 | Staff Writer

Posted on 05/30/2015 7:30:43 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine

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1 posted on 05/30/2015 7:30:43 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine
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To: Jack Hydrazine

2 posted on 05/30/2015 7:32:37 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Squirrel!


3 posted on 05/30/2015 7:34:20 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Be ironic if some NYC-based environmental organization discovered that the human-flesh-craving squirrels were some obscure, never-before-discovered species of rare squirrel that had a unique genome and must therefore fall under the protection of the Endangered Species Act.


4 posted on 05/30/2015 7:34:41 PM PDT by Steely Tom (Vote GOP for A Slower Handbasket)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

HEY! why can’t we raise a million squirrel flesh eating army and ship them off to Iran?


5 posted on 05/30/2015 7:34:50 PM PDT by lbryce (Obama:Misbegotten, Godforsaken Bastard Offspring of Satan and Medusa)
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To: Jack Hydrazine; JoeProBono; dfwgator
Earlier this month, a squirrel in the Bronx bit an MTA worker's finger, sending her to the hospital. Now, it appears squirrels have developed a taste for salty, delectable people flesh—a second MTA worker has been attacked by a squirrel, this time in the train car of a Coney Island-bound Q train. It's unclear whether the same squirrel was coming back for seconds, or if the city's squirrel population has teamed up with the coyotes to rid the city of all non-littering humans.

Sounds like our kind of thread!

6 posted on 05/30/2015 7:36:02 PM PDT by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Jack Hydrazine
and what was she doing with her finger that close to the squirrel's mouth to begin with???
7 posted on 05/30/2015 7:36:39 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -w- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

All I could think was, we’re four months to early for Halloween pranks.

It is more likely rabid than going carnivorous.


8 posted on 05/30/2015 7:36:46 PM PDT by tbw2
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To: lbryce

give them as pets to the yout in Baltimore and ship the whole kit and kaboodle over to iran!!


9 posted on 05/30/2015 7:36:52 PM PDT by MeshugeMikey ("Never, Never, Never, Give Up," Winston Churchill ><>)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Rabies, anyone? When normally docile or timid warm blooded wild animals attack humans or start acting weird, that’s the first thing I’d suspect. Either that or someone had the critter cornered and was messing with it.


10 posted on 05/30/2015 7:37:53 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Squirrels eating NYCers ping.


11 posted on 05/30/2015 7:38:25 PM PDT by rrrod (Just an old guy with a gun in his pocket.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine
It's unclear whether the same squirrel was coming back for seconds, or if the city's squirrel population has teamed up with the coyotes to rid the city of all non-littering humans.

Oh. I see. All rodents look alike, eh? Sounds like rodential profiling to me.

Just kidding! Some of my best friends are squirrels. I have a sister who's married to a squirrel. We treat him like he's one of us. We judge him by the content of his character not the bushiness of his tail.

12 posted on 05/30/2015 7:39:10 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: lbryce

Good idea but lets test em first in blue states.....


13 posted on 05/30/2015 7:39:37 PM PDT by rrrod (Just an old guy with a gun in his pocket.)
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To: Darksheare

Ping.....


14 posted on 05/30/2015 7:40:05 PM PDT by moose07 (Islam and the New Stone age: A book i've not yet written.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine
This would make a better movie than most remakes they are doing now.

Zombie Vampire Squirrels of the New York Under Ground.

15 posted on 05/30/2015 7:41:03 PM PDT by ThomasThomas ("YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!")
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Give them squirrels a basket ride..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-NlDo


16 posted on 05/30/2015 7:41:37 PM PDT by tflabo (Truth or tyranny)
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To: MeshugeMikey
But don't forget to send both the kit AND Kaboodle. The last two times they either sent only the kit, then the next time only the Kaboodle.

And we all know how that turned out.

17 posted on 05/30/2015 7:41:41 PM PDT by lbryce (Obama:Misbegotten, Godforsaken Bastard Offspring of Satan and Medusa)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

So long as they don’t accuse the squirrel of being a right-wing tea partier that hates big government as represented by the MTA.


18 posted on 05/30/2015 7:42:31 PM PDT by Olog-hai
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To: Smokin' Joe
Vigilante squirrel justice: Subway Gunman Bernie Goetz plays with his squirrel
19 posted on 05/30/2015 7:44:22 PM PDT by ponygirl (Put. A. Bird. On. It.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

” city’s squirrel population has teamed up with the coyotes to rid the city of all non-littering humans.”

What the heck are they doing? Starting a gang?

I think there is a movie call “Day of the Animals (1977)”. The animals attack everyone taking revenge.


20 posted on 05/30/2015 7:44:38 PM PDT by Patriot Babe
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