Now just a cotton pickin’ minit here. Let’s be fair. What if the catcher gets pregnant?
Wait. There’s more. What do you mean, men can’t get pregnant? Well, of course they should be able to get pregnant. Otherwise, his 14th Amendment rights have been violated. And since G-d can be court-ordered to allow men to get pregnant, the pitcher must be compelled through marriage to care for the offspring of his loins.