How about some Chuck Norris jokes? Did you know that even after looking both ways streets still won't cross Chuck Norris?
"Ceterum censeo 0bama esse delendam."
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Chuck Norris wears Jack Bauer pajamas. :-)