If you don't have $2.2 billion to pick one of these babies up you can get a low end turkey fryer at Wally World for arond $40.
But you will need another $30 for oil.
It doesn't cook as fast and it won't fry them on the wing.
Have you tried to cook them on the wing? Those old fashioned things need oil - you are right, but these modern bird cookers are oil-less because fossil fuels are bad for the environment you know.
I was thinking of a great turkey roast with lots of people - the poor homeless also - and everyone could toss their own turkey. It could become a national holiday - The Great Turkey Toss.
We could have some pissants stomping grapes into wine which would flow down one of the now dry canals and we could all get loaded. What do you think?