Posted on 03/30/2016 3:09:28 PM PDT by OneVike
“Anybody know any good jokes?”
Here’s one I liked:
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.
Guido the bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is.”
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where’s the money?”
Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says, “Ask him again or I’ll kill him!”
The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”
Guido trembles and signs back, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.”
The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?”
The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”
In order to be funny, a joke has to have some level of accuracy.
:-D
I think this time everyone will be too exhausted by the time the election rolls around for there to be a purge. The feeling is sinking in that the cockpit crew is going UFC on each other and we’re locked in coach and the drink cart isn’t near full enough.
I did not know that they are endorsing Trump
But I do know that JEB endorsed Cruz
Enjoy the uniparty
I have asked all posters on the Sunday Talk Show thread to do the same.
So far it has been pretty fair and civil. My one rule is DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS!
If someone comes on a thread and is insulting, just don’t reply. They’ll get bored and go away.
Have the problems occur when people get angry at a rude comment and it just snowballs with reply after reply, sometimes over hundreds of posts.
It really makes ALL posters (not just the first rude one) look silly and immature.
Just don’t reply. Bite your lip and move on.
I agree, I just read the articles and avoid the community. Im 50/50 ted/trump.
My friend who recently turned 80 sent me this one.....
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.
‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’
‘Sure.’
‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks.
‘No, I can remember it.’
‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too.
Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?’
He says, ‘I can remember that.
You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’
‘I’d also like whipped cream.
I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks.
Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!’
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs..
She stares at the plate for a moment.
‘Where’s my toast ?’
[I HUMBLY suggest that you not just request, but DEMAND]
How very humble of you to demand. (/s a little)
Anyone who thinks it is bad among the GOP wannabes now, just wait until the Clinton Machine starts its scorched earth and politics of personal destruction at the GOP nominee.
The Clinton Machine WILL pay dirty.
Very, very well put.
Thanks for sharing that from the Ace of Spades
Tiny, neat letters along the bottom of the stall door, so small that you needed to bend down to read them:
“BEWARE OF LIMBO-DANCING HOMOSEXUALS”
Calling other posters liars in all caps when you disagree would be a good place to start.
In darn near every case I 100% believe that too. I just think that they are being badly misguided and let astray by some not-so well intended types here, such as those in the FR Putinistas 4 Trump, Make Russia Strong Again, club.
That was funny, and I’m a Cruz supporter.
I agree with you. People are in denial.
What’s going on? I don’t read the comments on the threads much anymore (too inane). Are people being really mean to each other over Trump and Cruz? Could you post some of the really crazy stuff? I’m due for some fun. Thanks.
here here Tom. we have not seen the beginning of dirty tricks until the Clinton machine starts up in September!
I like that one...
PLUS 1!!!
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