Killing everyone who is not a moslem is a core doctrine of islam. Anyone who calls himself a moslem is professing to want to kill you (and your children and everyone else), if you are not.
If they don’t actually want to do that, they shouldn’t be calling themselves moslems, it would be like calling yourself an axe murderer when you had no intention of murdering anyone with an axe.
They read the "jihad" passages of the Koran as allegorical, standing symbolically for the internal battle against evil temptation. Which is how many Christians consider the accounts of aggressive warfare and even genocide in the Old Testament; and how Gandhi nonviolently re-interpreted the Bhagavad Gita.
The fact that today's Christians (and for that matter, Jews) don't want to commit genocide against unbelievers, as the Israelites (e.g. Joshua and David) did against the Amalekites and other Canaanites, doesn't mean we aren't really Christians or Jews.