These acts of extreme violence broke the will of our enemy to resist. It is called war. It is brutish, ugly and violent and little glory except as depicted in the movies.
When one lets the enemy set the rules of engagement, you have just lost the war. War should be avoided unless our national interests and security is in danger. If one must go to war, it should be brutal and devastating to the enemy.
If one must fight, "Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of war." If you can not do this, you will lose.
...”it was civilians that made the weapons, grew the food, etc. . . .”
For example: Most never stopped to think about the fact that women, including nurses and secretaries, were a key, integral and enthusiastic part of the infrastructure of the mass murdering Third Reich. “Hitler’s Furies,” by Wendy Lauer, is a book that documents the biographies of a cross section of these women.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17612712-hitler-s-furies