I wonder why the author’s daughter isn’t a mother, and why she felt the need to point out her degrees and successful career as opposed to being “just a mom”, and if the daughter is so tearful and upset about it why not quit her job and be “just a mom”. Sorry, but I’ve had far too many conversations like this with childless, successful women who just like being snobs while being “so sorry”. Guess it hit a nerve. :/
Certain ingredients have to go into the “just a mom” life. I know a few that really wanted that path but never got the significant other to make it work.
No one ever asked them to get married. There are tons of fantastic loving women who never met the guy who would settle down with them and raise a family.
Feminists teach women that children are a burden, they weigh you down. Don’t have them until you’re established in your career. (Hint - most people only have jobs, not careers, and fewer define themselves by it by choice.)
Now you have women waiting until their mid to late 30s to try to find a partner, and they find most of the men who want to marry are taken. The good enough were passed over while seeking Mr. Perfect, who doesn’t exist. So now they are playing musical chairs and risk loneliness, second-hand husbands with baggage or the losers that didn’t marry. Or single motherhood, which college educated know is bad for children, so rarely choose from the get-go.
In some cases, they have a partner but put off children until they find out it is biologically too late.
These factors combined explain why 20% of women in their 50s are childless versus the historical 10%, in the US, and a third of college graduates in Germany.
When I was in my 20s, I had feminists tell me I was too young to have children, build my career. Had 2 before 30. At 40, I have several peers who are desperately trying fertility treatments, one couple trying to adopt, others resigned to childlessness/singleness/both. One bucked the trend and became a single mother of 2 by artificial insemination.
I don’t regret downshifting my career to have children. I think much of the rage directed at women who prioritize children is cultural programming that this is a waste, while others do so out of “sour grapes”, raging that they don’t have what the mothers do.