Posted on 05/31/2017 4:06:32 AM PDT by Arthur McGowan
“Ephesians 6:4 4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath”
The go-to Bible quote for we who have been abused.
My buddy has 10 kids today.
Back when the first or second child was just a very young baby, just able to focus its eyes on things. The baby would see a chain or earring on mom and try to grab it. She’d give the hand a little flick and the baby would react and let go. A few more times of that and the baby stopped.
Point being. They started out early at the youngest of ages, with discipline. As the child progresses, it takes minimal discipline to steer the child in the proper direction.
I have sat in church with them. I’m in the midst of the family and barely notice the kids and my buddy will do a subtle lean forward and look at a child and that is all the warning a child needs.
The old folks call him Super Dad. (They do call his wife Super Mom also)
Their house is a house FILLED with the sounds of running feet and children screeching with delight, as one or another is being chased or tickled or something.
Never heard them yell at their kids, except to get ones attention. Other than that, they’ll raise their voice a little, to put emphasis on what they are saying, but never yelling at their child.
Some might say that a childs temperament has a lot to do with it, which is true. But, when you have tens kids, you pretty much run the gamut of personality traits. And they most certainly have.
The concept and principle are fundamentally unsound.
Children learn primarily by imitation.
By striking a child you teach - beyond anything your words can later undo - that your authority, and authority in general, is rooted in violence.
By striking your child you teach the lesson that violence is a solution to problems.
Unless you are willing to stand on that profoundly amoral principle, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that physical discipline is fundamentally uncivilized. The only legitimate use of force against a child is to protect them from imminent harm - full stop.
I agree.
“It’s child-abuse not to discipline your child”
So true. I got a few spankings when I was a kid. Never once equated it with violence, etc. I equated it with misbehavior on my part.
Abuse victims don’t matter to those wedded to the regime of perpetuating violence from generation to generation.
“...those wedded to the regime of perpetuating violence from generation to generation.”
The main reason I chose not to have children — I considered the off chance that I might be an abuser like Dad (and his father and mother) or, maybe even worse, stand by quietly watching it happen as Mom did. I wasn’t willing to take that chance.
I spanked the daylights out of my kids when they were little (obviously to the level needed to get the point across, and no more), as it was either that or drugs...and I’m not into drugging kids.
Funny thing is they quickly learned to behave great and now have very successful careers and families. And yes, they appreciate having some structure in their childhood.
IN the scheme of infractions of the rules by a child, there must be some limit.
In the years of my children’s lives....I have spanked them only a few times each. They knew that what they had done was so egregious that is was what I called a “capital” crime and they were spanked as punishment.
The rules of spanking were...no more than three swats to their posterior of sufficient force to cause them to think twice. Hard, but effective. Hurt me more than it hurt them.
My wife is a pleader...she pleads with them not to do X, I bark orders and there is punishment for non-compliance. Whom do they listen to? Who do they come to when they need anything or are injured? The only time they go to mom is when they are sick.
Lower IQ? Couldn’t have anything to do with TV and constant gaping open mouthed staring at electric screens now could it?
KILL YOUR TV
God disciplines those He loves, too. The thing is discipline has to be just. Equal punishment. For a child to be disciplined it can save them from a lifetime of consequences. The fear of the Lord does work, as does knowing there will always be just consequences.
Remember this, too, that one verse is offset by hundreds of verses and actions of love. If you so dare, read Deuteronomy 28. When I read Leviticus after becoming a parent all I saw was the Father’s love for us. It is one of my favorite books in the Bible.
I often think about how Jesus will rule as Messhiah with a rod of iron when the prophecy given at His birth will finally come to pass. “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”
Notice the peace will be for those who follow His laws, loving Him and loving our neighbor as ourselves, because those who do so are those with whom He is pleased.
Agreed. My rules for discipline for kids are:
1. You usually won’t get it right on the first try, and that doesn’t matter. Think things through, try different ideas, and get it right on the second or third try, then keep it consistent after that.
2. It is a whole lot easier to raise kids well from the start than it is to fix your mistakes once the kids are set in their ways. Put as much energy as it takes into your kids when they are young.
3. Parenting is never about you. Always make decisions based on what is best for your child, not based on how you feel in the moment.
4. Anticipate problems. Instead of reacting when a bored child goes astray, make sure your child is not bored well before you have to react.
I posit that the vicious beatings meted out to black children oftentimes cause brain trauma, which does nothing to increase intelligence.
Your wrong on this. I was abused as a child, not beaten with no end, but my dad would kick me in the head or back hand me when I messed up. Even as a child I knew it came from a place of anger, not love. When I got older and bigger than him it stopped. That and other issues caused me to be a hooligan in my youth. Swore I would never treat my children that way.
Fast forward and I am a father of two. I used spanking, only on their butts, when they were younger. Both are straight A students, in sports, and school clubs/events and well behaved (well my boy will do something stupid at least twice a year and get into trouble, he has too much of me in him). They knew what I did came from love and as a correction, not anger. Now that they are older we use other methods, take their phones away, grounded, no car, etc.
I think spanking has a place if done right.
Maybe!
I've always wanted a home like that.
Now, as my 3rd (surprise!) child is on the way, I've vowed to forever keep my weiner in my pants.
Very good points
Physical chastisement is built into every complex living thing. Watch ANY mother beastie discipline her offspring. Yet that same mother beastie would put her life at risk and interpose herself between her offspring and danger. There “is” a place for physical discipline. The meme that one should never use it is just another politically correct wrong idea.
Wrong on all counts. See mama bear. Not to use what Mother Nature has taught and embedded in our genes is what is “fundamentally unsound”.
Sure it does. I have both watched it applied and had it applied to me.
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