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The Three Divorce Magnets: Knowing the pitfalls that can derail a marriage will help you avoid them
National Review ^ | 06/17/2017 | Diane Medved

Posted on 06/17/2017 6:57:33 PM PDT by SeekAndFind



TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: divorce; marriage
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To: allendale
Yes and no. The natural man is promiscuous and about 80% of the natural women are attracted to 20% of the guys. Think back to your high school days.

Many American Indian tribes were allowed up to four wives in recognition of this "natural" situation. Ironically, Arab Muslims use exactly the same ratio even today.

The civilizing religions of the world, including Christianity, Judaism and even Buddhism came to stress monogamy because training women to look beyond their favored 20% of the men and training men to seek fidelity to one woman over "seed spreading" greatly reduced rivalry among men since almost all would have an opportunity to mate and produce children. Fewer surplus males = fewer incentives for war.

Among American Indian tribes, this meant that cousins of the same general language groups produced both highly civilized agricultural tribes like the Mandan, Arikara and Hidatsa and more warlike hunter-gathers like the Lakota/Sioux. Among the Semitic tribes, this means the children of Judah produce highly educated civilization builders while the children of Ishmael produce warring tribes of religious fanatics (you know who).

While the mating instinct is strong among humans and is constant and not limited to seasons as in most members of the animal kingdom, the presence of civilizing influences, including religion, can harness its power to build civilizations rather than break them down or retard their progress.

This is why Liberals are so hostile toward civilizing religions and so infatuated with Islam and its chaotic view of human nature which demands self-proclaimed rulers and religious zealots to cobble civilization together by force.

21 posted on 06/17/2017 7:54:48 PM PDT by Vigilanteman (ObaMao: Fake America, Fake Messiah, Fake Black man. How many fakes can you fit into one Zer0?)
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To: SeekAndFind

Step 1: Don’t get married.

Problem solved.


22 posted on 06/17/2017 8:01:53 PM PDT by chris37 (Donald J. Trump, Tom Brady, The Patriots... American Destiny!)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Yup, I was married to one :/


23 posted on 06/17/2017 8:03:41 PM PDT by Bikkuri
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To: lightman
Divorce magnet number four: The divorced "friends" who cajole the wavering spouse into joining their miserable company.

And THAT my FRiend is exactly the truth....

Watched it happen to others, then watched it happen to me. Played out like a script I had read several times before. Once the train left the station, there was no stopping it, it was just a matter of timing before it reached each station.

Friend gets divorced, they go out together to console, then carouse, and then it's your turn. If you have kids, then your financial ruin follows.

24 posted on 06/17/2017 8:11:17 PM PDT by Ouderkirk (To the left, everything must evidence that this or that strand of leftist theory is true)
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To: SeekAndFind

People are neurotic to one degree or another and those afflicted to a larger degree are often adept at hiding it under a veneer of normalcy. This veneer is not robust and does not stand up to the close scrutiny of living together. Soon enough everything becomes an issue and the little annoyances begin to take their toll. Then too, people simply grow apart in interests and priorities, they mature and age in different directions. Marriage should require an in depth psychological evaluation and lie detector test.


25 posted on 06/17/2017 8:25:14 PM PDT by Yollopoliuhqui (Smarter - Faster)
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To: mom4melody

Yes. What they look like and whether they entertain you Princess is what really matters.


26 posted on 06/17/2017 8:25:15 PM PDT by amihow (.size)
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To: SeekAndFind

There is that saying for a man: “If you get a strong urge to get married, just go out and find a woman that really hate and buy her a house.”


27 posted on 06/17/2017 8:29:00 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? -Homer Simpson)
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To: SeekAndFind

4 facebook

facebook is mentioned in MOST divorce cases these days. People trying to reconnect with their high school crush, ex-boyfriend/girlfriend etc instead of WORKING on their marriage.


28 posted on 06/17/2017 8:34:25 PM PDT by Pollard (TRUMP 2016)
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To: Ouderkirk

Add to that a culture which views divorce as a badge of honor and a sign of maturity...

I once heard an allegedly “Christian Pastor” say perjoritively of a colleague “he’s still on his FIRST MARRRIAGE”—as though that was something to be ashamed of.


29 posted on 06/17/2017 8:39:10 PM PDT by lightman (Trump = A glorious amalgamation of Andrew Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Ronald Reagan!)
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To: Pollard

FB = A Ninth Gommandment-free zone largely dominated by codependent narcissists and voyeurs.


30 posted on 06/17/2017 8:40:46 PM PDT by lightman (Trump = A glorious amalgamation of Andrew Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Ronald Reagan!)
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To: Ouderkirk

I saw that go around an office I worked in. Like watching the plague.


31 posted on 06/17/2017 8:49:11 PM PDT by Pelham (Liberate California. Deport Mexico Now)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
How about the wife is crazy scenario?

Or an alcoholic. Or a money-sucking spender. My wife's brother got all three scenarios in his now ex-wife. While going through the divorce, she made him pay for her attorney's fees and stole him blind. Then she latches onto another guy and drains him. When he died of an illness and she was broke, she then came back to my wife's brother and begged him to take her back in. I told him I'd shoot him, not her if he fell for that.

32 posted on 06/17/2017 9:02:59 PM PDT by roadcat
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To: SeekAndFind

Put God at the center of your family, don’t abuse each other, don’t commit adultery, don’t be selfish, show love and affection for each other and always put your family first.


33 posted on 06/17/2017 9:13:33 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: All

Heck, to hear everyone talk here it sounds like I am blessed to not have a honey. But I beg to differ. Surely some bad apples are out there. And so are truly loving examples of blessed marriages out there. Beautiful examples. Wonderful ones. Some surprisingly started in not so young folks - even after not so successful relationships. It is hard sometimes to keep positive. But knowing how it effects health, happiness, and society, we should focus these ideas of supporting our young folks to follow good examples. Not focusing on what bad can come out of poisoned ones.


34 posted on 06/17/2017 9:23:19 PM PDT by TianaHighrider (Deplorable me)
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To: Trillian

Perfect advice! That says it all.


35 posted on 06/17/2017 9:26:04 PM PDT by TianaHighrider (Deplorable me)
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To: Trillian

Thats cute. I remember my first beer.


36 posted on 06/17/2017 9:53:04 PM PDT by airplaneguy
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To: SeekAndFind

my recipe for a GODLY and happy marriage is simple! Trust GOD first and always ask for HIS guidance first in these matters! Disregard any other teachings from worldly men or women, or children defiled by worldly men or women! First and foremost, do not be of the world! GOD will lead you through light, not darkness and answer your prayers like he did for so many GODLY men who came before me through the ages, and as he did for myself!

I was married for the first time in my mid 40’s to a GODLY woman from the Philippines, who loves being a woman created uniquely by GOD, and who loves GOD, and believes entirely in GOD’s creation and our inherited sovereignty. We have a son who was created by GOD miraculously on a day and time of the LORD’s choosing... I am still left in awe by this unique event that GOD provided so incredibly precise and clear! The LORD works in mysterious ways, I have been blessed, absolutely!


37 posted on 06/17/2017 10:30:59 PM PDT by Torquay
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To: SeekAndFind

Knowing marriage pitfalls lets you avoid marriages?


38 posted on 06/17/2017 10:38:15 PM PDT by AndyTheBear
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To: SeekAndFind

Three things needed.

End no fault divorce.

Equal rights for fathers re alimony, child support, asset splits, custody, and ending man hating female loving family court laws. Ie either end cash and prizes for divorce, or finally give cash and prizes to men if they initiate the divorce.

Make women uphold their side of the marriage contract. Ie women marry for a man to become a provider/atm for her, men marry for exclusive access rights to regular enjoyable sex that does not get turned off when the woman becomes a wife. And not used to coerce him to do stuff in exchange for dead fish wife sex while she just lays there waiting for it to be over. Women do not marry to be a mans provider, and men do not marry to become celibate hostages. Never seen any of that in the vows or the bible.


39 posted on 06/17/2017 11:07:27 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man ( Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: SeekAndFind

How about a overly medicated society?


40 posted on 06/17/2017 11:08:34 PM PDT by rwoodward ("god, guns and more ammo")
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