Fifteen years later, during my own teenage years as a member of Generation X, smoking had lost some of its romance, but independence was definitely still in. My friends and I plotted to get our driver’s license as soon as we could, making DMV appointments for the day we turned 16 and using our newfound freedom to escape the confines of our suburban neighborhood. Asked by our parents, “When will you be home?,” we replied, “When do I have to be?”
But the allure of independence, so powerful to previous generations, holds less sway over today’s teens, who are less likely to leave the house without their parents. The shift is stunning: 12th-graders in 2015 were going out less often than eighth-graders did as recently as 2009.
I’m 43, and frankly, there was a difference between my clique of high school friends and that of my cousins who were ten years older.
I graduated high school in 1992. I was the generation of “Just Say No,” Len Bias, C Everett Koop and Magic Johnson. We went through Junior High and High School having learned that both drugs and sex would literally kill you.
That’s not to say people weren’t doing drugs or having sex. It happened then; it happened now. It will happen forever.
But everyone grows up in the world they grew up in.
My dad went to college in 1969. His older brother went to the same college but in 1960. To say their experiences were slightly different is an understatement. My uncle spent his four years drinking gin and playing cards with guys. I’ve never been told this explicitly but I gather that my mom and dad shared an apartment above a bar owned by my dad’s drug-dealing best friend while they went to school.
I was part of the “hooking up” culture in college, which by the way rarely seemed to lead to actual sex. (Though I’m sure my Sunday School teacher would have differed). We seemed to mostly smoke a lot of pot, wear baggy clothes, and listen to the bands that inspired the Seattle bands but never made it big.
At my fifth college reunion, the Britney Spears generation had appeared and hoo-boy were they having some sex. And doing lots and lots of Ecstasy (which is the most over-rated drug in human history I may add).
I feel like Social Media is possibly making the turn towards whatever it is this generation is doing more pronounced. But it was probably happening to some degree with or without phones.
This is what I see with my kids: no one grows up together. We’ve moved when the oldest was ten because we wanted a different school district. Prior to that, they went to a Catholic school where everyone came from a large geographic area.
We’ve been in this neighborhood four years and know six neighbors. We do know that seemingly every kid on the block goes to a different school. Public, charter, Catholic, private, magnet, specialty. And everyone seemingly switches every two years.
My parents bought by childhood home in 1978. They still live there. The kids I started kindergarten with are the kids I graduated with. And a lot of them went to college together. (I went out of state, because I was sick of everyone but you get the point). Two of best friends lived next door to each other from 1st grade on, and then lived together for 4 years in college. Frankly, they were too close.
I’m rambling, but I think we are in backlash moment against all the sex and drugs of the prior period. I also think it’s really difficult for kids to form real bonds because they are isolated by culture at this point. Social media gives them a way to form bonds and it becomes a cycle.