A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.
- Shakespeare
There may be things we don’t know about this man, but one thing we can be sure if is that you got it right. He will suffer for the rest of his life because of that decision.
“It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.
Stonewall Jackson must have read that.
And unless he's a sociopath, I'd guess the odds are greater than 50-50 that he takes his own life. Then, his family has to endure their bitterness at what he's done, plus an even greater bitterness towards the vile comments hurled at him, which they will then blame for his suicide.
Unfortunately, in a moment of panic like that, as the armed guard has only seconds to decide what to do, there's zero time and zero room in the adrenaline-hyped brain to look forward to what the future may hold for you and your family if you do NOT risk your life as your job description requires.