Posted on 04/16/2018 1:07:02 PM PDT by rightwingintelligentsia
Edited on 04/16/2018 2:47:00 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
Chief Perry Beise says the victims aged 8, 9 and 13 suffered
(Excerpt) Read more at time.com ...
BAN THE KNIFE
National Knife Association is killing people. We have no constitutional right to knives.
More people are injured by knives than all other weapons combined. (I cut my little finger just yesterday)
The vast majority of Knife injuries go unreported for fear of reprisal.
More knives are sold each year to people who should not own knives than firearms and tea cups combined are sold to mentally deranged individuals.
Ban the Knife. Demonstrations are being organized by the Hog from S.C.
Thank God he did not have an electric knife, or an Assault Knife, more commonly referred to as an AK120 (as in volts)
Ban guns, knives, bombs, vehicles, bows and arrows, sling shots, tennis racquets, baseball bats, and tools!
Attention David AttentionHogg, please tell us you were at this kids school and you are going to organize a walkout for knife control...
Oh stop. hahahahaha. Oh stop.
Well, someone will have to cut our steaks as if we are babies or we are old and feeble. We must do this to save the children.
NO! That would require a KNIFE! Someone will have to chew our steak for us!
And now it’s time for, “Ask David Hogg”! (Wurlitzer flourish, here)
Dear David,
I’ve noticed lately, that my kitchen knives are cutting me WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE! I’ll just be innocently brushing my teeth at bedtime, and notice a tiny cut on one of my fingers. Thinking back, I’ll recall using a knife to cut up onions, or some other food, while preparing supper, but will be unable to recall the knife cutting me, AT ALL! I’m beginning to suspect a conspiracy, as this has happened more than once, and with DIFFERENT KNIVES! (Cue menacing music, here).
We’ve already done as you suggested, and rid the house of firearms, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to get rid of our knives! How will I make beenie weenies, or more importantly, how will I get that da*~ned plastic wrap off that head of lettuce!?? Should we just chuck it all, and eat baby food, instead? Please advise! I’m due to make an omelette in a few hours, and I’m terrified!
Oh you Rat, and I mean that in the best way possible!
According to Time, Inc., “School Superintendent Bruce Watkins says the boy lashed out at the other students until an adult intervened.”
But according to local WCCO, the boy went to the office and turned himself in. Seems to be a huge disparity in “reporting.”
WCCO isn’t the only one reporting it that way.
Common sense hoodlum control?
Aw yes, the South Carolina Hog needs to provide divine guidance for us mere mortals. But what has failed to be addressed in these discussions is ‘just what the hell would have happened if that kid had an assault knife? You know the electric kind. Mass destruction, especially if he had a high capacity electric cord, one that would stretch more than say 5 feet. What if it were to have 50 feet. Oh the humanity!!!!!
Thanks for the in kind humor.
LOL. You’re welcome!
Mandatory waiting periods before children get knives at the table. 30 mins minimum. Full background checks. Is there really any reason for kids to have anything other than rounded butter knives? I blame Gordon Ramsey for glorifying slicing and dicing on tv.
Lol, for real, out loud here.
Schools becoming more like prisons every day.
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You are smart to ask for wisdom from someone who wasn’t born yet in 2000. They know everything.
Anyone who didn’t read about the 5-gallon buckets of rocks won’t get the reference but still it emphasizes how silly these schools are at dealing with such issues.
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