I couldn’t believe the number of people who didn’t get it.
I couldn’t believe the number of people “assuring” us all that there are indeed beaches in Alabama. Even to someone posting a map of so called Alabama beaches.
I, however, having traveled each of the 48 continental states can attest to there being no beaches in Alabama. There are areas where the ocean meets the swamps. Even though these areas are called the Redneck Riviera they are places of which only the most hardy of souls attempt to vacation at.
To even get to the swamps one must first get off the interstate and hazard the back roads populated by feral hogs, plague carrying armadillos, timber rattlers that seek out people to bite and copperheads that lie in wait of the unwary.
Then comes the swamps.
Why the trees literally drip with poisonous reptiles. Reptiles the size and nastiness of which make the most fearless Louisiana bayou dweller stay on the interstate.
Then there are the gators.
There are gators in Louisiana and Texas simply because each year the smaller and less vicious gators flee Alabama for safer destinations. And those Bama Alpha Gators (BAGs) are NEVER not hungry. NEVER.
If someone manages to avoid the plague carrying armadillos, the super aggressive timber rattlers and copperheads, the tree hanging reptiles of unnatural size and nastiness and DOES someway make it to the edge of the ocean they then must contend with bull sharks the like of which exist at no other place on earth. Perpetually pissed off and hungry they make short work out of swimmers and small boats.
But to get to LA (Lower Alabama for yankees) one must first make it through northern Alabama which has dangers of it’s own too numerous to go through here.
People just read the first sentence of my post and figured they had finally found someone stupider than them and had to jump on it. Surely anyone who read the whole post would have been able to figure it out. I hope. I would have thought my screen name might have tipped them off.