Put down the thesaurus, step away from the keyboard and hie thee to a nearby AAA meeting: Apologetic Alliterationists Anonymous
You are in the Religion Section of FR.
Nearby is Conservative Cavern.
There are many curious artifacts nearby.
A faint whiff of brimstone reachs your nostrils.
Golden Plates have reportedly been seen in another passage.
Many twisty little passages lead from this room - all different.
Many voyagers have embarked from this point.
Choose your path well; as only ONE is reported to bring the sojourner out of the maze safely...