Afghanistan: 180 degree alternate plan! Read this!

My big empty head ^

[Hammerhead]

Freeps, while sitting bedside with my 5 year old waiting for her to finish puzzles I got the 'brilliant' idea of how to possibly handle the Afghan situation - an idea to far out in left field, that there is NO WAY the Taliban bottom feeders could figure out how to handle it!!! Check this out: 1st we actively side with the rebels in the north and have them start a campaign to join their side. "Oh, no kidding Hammerhead you big goof. Like that hasn't already be thought of!!!", you say. But here's the BEUTIFUL part. All the while the rebels are recruiting, start BOMBING the citizens (women, children, men) of Afghanistan and northern Pakistan, with........here goes..... blankets, comic books, toys, food, reading glasses, toiletries, all the basic good things in life. That would throw the Taliban in FITS!!!!!! just friggin keep bombing the country with the stuff!!! The general population would say hey T-men, F-off were going the Gringo's and the boys up north that are trying to get rid of your sorry asses!!! Am I a kook or what?

[neutrino]

what position is left to get embarrassed about?

Hmm...worshipping a pig, perhaps? Submitting to a domintrix while dressed in a speedo and a propeller beanie maybe? I don't know...maybe my imagination just isn't lurid enough....

[Redcloak]

Don't forget to drop refrigerators, ovens, washer/dryer sets, full-sized automobiles, RVs, manhole covers, cattle, sheep, oxen, chickens, large wooden rabbits...

[nunya bidness]

Worth a look.

[malakhi]

We can supply them with houris to pleasure them in this world. *kof*

See, that was MY idea! If Allah promises them 70 virgins in the next world, let's promise them 80 in this world! Bet we'd get some informants then...

[MHGinTN]

Uh, I just thought of a most insidious ploy: as the first rains sweep in, blanket the country with kudzu and ragweed seeds. Think about it!

[Revolting cat!]

It's not a bad idea altogether, but to disarm them we'd have to really demoralize them. And that would require a long campaign of Hollywood trash, disco and [c]rap music with some disonant modern jazz thrown in, ACLU, NOW, Planned Parenthood and People for the Afghan Way, CNN, Dan Blather and so on. We already know how to do all that - look how it's disarmed us. But as I said, long, 30, 50 years. And this slow acting poison is guaranteed to work better than any nukes!

[TexRef]

Maybe a guided cruise dildo...

This is a project for Registered :)

[nkycincinnatikid]

Of course you are right . I only saw that episode once,when it was first broadcast,long long time ago. It reminded me of a similar real experience which just had to have been the basis of that script. Cincy had a NHL farm team,the Stingers and one game they had a promotion in which they allowed kids on the ice to catch live turkeys. When the turkeys were forced reluctantly from cages and the kids started after them, the birds panicked and started flying and hopping and skidding out of the rink and toward the stands. In a matter of like seconds about three dozen turkeys had broken their necks hitting the plexiglass around the rink and the kids were just like walking around looking for the fattest ones. It was awesome!

[Aliska]

Please it's a marvelous idea . . . BUT think of what the enemy could do with some of the stuff before it's given to the people. I think it was done there already and it should be obvious without my having to state it explicitly. Don't be naive; you don't know the kind of enemy you are dealing with! Let me tell you something. They may be technologically backward but they aren't stupid. They are cunning.

[Aliska]

Sorry I didn't see your post when I wrote mine. Yes, I remember them doing that.

[oldpath]

"I see a B-52 strike over Afghanistan this week, in which 8 million Big Macs and Happy Meals are dropped on the masses. "

This would be cruel and inhumane punishment!! There must be something in the Geneva convention concerning this. Everyone knows that McDonalds would get the order wrong!!!

[SarahW]

I was just telling my husband at dinner tonight that we should be bombimg the populace with Hershey bars and spam (well, slamb, since pork would be insulting), blankies, etc.

Then rebuild the place like it was Berlin or something.

[aruanan]

This is actually a pretty good idea. On the one hand, imagine how many consumer goods could be dumped there for the price of a single cruise missile. On the other hand, the presence of lots of consumer goods would cause the Taleban to try to confiscate them to "purify" the country (read: resell and/or use them for themselves). This would cause the oppressed population to get really upset with them for depriving them of the manna from heaven.

[aruanan]

The thought of us dropping essentials, and toys for the kids, it's like that Kris Kringle thing happening.

I don't know about the toys for the kids. Remember that the Soviet Union did this, but the toys were bombs that were usually just powerful enough to mangle but not kill the kid, causing him to become a greater burden on the mujahadeen than a dead kid would be. I think you'd have to work in the toys at a later date. Better consumer goods for the adults. They're the ones you have to get on your side. They're not going to oppose the Taleban for taking away their kid's Slinky.

[Dirt]

Weather forecast for Kabul, Karachi, Baghdad and Damascus for the week of 09/24/01:

Very brief period of extremely bright sunlight followed by variable winds of 2000 knots and temperatures in the mid to upper 6000 degree range with no measurable moisture. SPF 12000 sunblock highly recommended if standing near an outside, reinforced structural wall of less than 3 meters thick.

Have a nice day.

[Dick Bachert]

OUTSTANDING!!

Don't know why we haven't tried it with CUBA. Castro would be waiting tables in Miami.

[agrace]

YOu know the sheriff that outlaws toys?!?!

Burgermeister Meisterburger. :) Ugh, I just spent an hour looking for a pic of him online but to no avail...

[Fleck78]

I don't think yall understand how much afghan citizens hate us. We need military intimidation within their borders, it would be an insult to them for us to rain our lavish gifts upon their poor but very proud heads.

[Dirt]

I don't understand your reply.... I'm not one that bought into that plan.