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If Normandy Happened Today (Media Speculation)
Hack's Newsletter | November 8, 2001 | Unknown

Posted on 11/08/2001 6:54:17 AM PST by BluH2o

Good Morning.

It is June 4, 1944.

Welcome to The Mullings Cable Network's continuing coverage of:"Operation Overlord:
What's Taking So Long?"

I'm Rich Rundling. Let's go first to MCN's White House reporter, Greg Smith for the latest.

SMITH: Thank you, Rich. Hill Leaders have told MCN news that an invasion of Europe is, in their words, "very, very imminent." These sources, who have been privy to briefings by the Roosevelt War Cabinet, tell us that "the number of troops, the number of ships, and the sheer size of war materiel shipments" clearly point to an invasion, possibly within the next 24 hours. Rich?

RUNDLING: Thank you, Greg. Now to the War Department and our reporter there Jim Smith. Jim? What are your sources there saying about a possible attack point?

SMITH: Well, Rich. Advisors to General Marshall are hinting at a strike at Pas de Calais, perhaps as early as tomorrow. However we believe this might well be disinformation and the real point of attack will be at Normandy. We have learned that Ranger and Airborne elements have been, in effect, rehearsing for the kind of terrain they are likely to encounter on the Normandy beaches and that Airborne units might be dropped in as early as tonight.

RUNDLING: So, Winston Churchill's famous phrase: "We shall fight on the beaches..." now must be considered as a clearly coded message to the French Resistance. For more on invasion plans, let's switch to London and our MCN reporter Eric Smith. Eric what are you hearing about where these troops may be going and when they might be going there?

SMITH: Rich, as you can see, the weather here is not good. Military meteorologists have advised SHAEF Command to stand down for at least the next 24 hours. If we can zoom in on this map behind me, you can clearly see that the combination of time and tides is most favorable for only the next 48 hours for a landing in France. Senior advisors to General Eisenhower are aware of, and very concerned with, the reports of growing impatience among many Americans with the amount of time it has taken to mount this invasion.

RUNDLING: Indeed, many here are asking why it has taken two-and-a-half years from the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941 to June 1944 to reach this point. Eric, if they can't go within that window, what are Eisenhower's options?

SMITH: No good ones, Rich. Intelligence officers here in Britain are worried that if this operation has to be delayed for as long as two weeks, word will almost certainly leak to the German high command allowing them to move their defensive forces from their current location at Pas de Calais to behind the Atlantic Wall above Normandy.

RUNDLING: That would be unfortunate. Let's turn now to our MCN military analyst retired General Theodore "Teddy" Smith, the famous "Senior Señor of Santiago Bay." General, you helped design the invasion of Cuba in 1898 -- just 43 years ago -- during the Spanish-American war, what do you make of this?

SMITH: Well, Rich, I'll use this map to illustrate. Assuming our troops will try to cross these beaches here ... and ... here. And assault these cliffs... here, then they will have to be supported by a naval bombardment from... here. So, we expect the Hun is flying air reconnaissance and will bring to bear their air assets to disrupt any pre-invasion shelling as soon as Allied ships are detected in this area ... here.

RUNDLING: What about tanks, General - the Panzer Divisions of General Rommel?

SMITH: Rommel is almost certainly moving his Panzer Divisions behind the Atlantic Wall ... here ... for use in a counterattack if and when the Allied forces breach those lines.

RUNDLING: Now, to Christianne Smith on a satellite phone in the French countryside. Christianne, what can you tell us?

SMITH: Rich, there is a growing sense of apprehension here about 40 miles away from what we assume will be the point of attack on the beaches of Normandy either tomorrow or the next day. Mayor Jacque Capituler is with me.
Mayor, tell our viewers how you feel about the coming invasion.

CAPITULER: We don't want to be liberated. We don't need to be liberated. The Germans have established a perfectly workable government, here. The Americans should go liberate someone else, somewhere else.

RUNDLING: The thorny issue of civilian casualties and collateral damage brought onto our living room screens from right there in France, Thank you Christianne. To ... where? Ok, to Edward Smith with the forces of General George Patton in Britain. Edward.

SMITH: Rich, I am here in Kent, England opposite the Pas de Calais just across the English Channel which, if the weather were better, you could see behind me. MCN can now confirm that the activity here in Kent, which has been named "Operation Fortitude" is, for want of a better phrase: A complete fake.

RUNDLING: Fake? Explain, please, for our viewers.

SMITH: MCN can now report that Patton has constructed, literally, a phony army here. The tanks are cardboard. The planes are rubber. The radio traffic is faked. Reports of troop movements are completely fabricated. This operation, clearly, is designed to fool the Germans in Europe and Americans back home into falsely believing that the attack -- which we now think will come tomorrow if the weather lets up -- will be aimed at Pas de Calais instead of Normandy.

RUNDLING: Excellent reporting, Edward. Joining me, now, in the studio is MCN's Senior Ethics Advisor Emma Smith. Emma? What does it mean to the American way of life when their very own government engages in this kind of deliberately false and misleading information? RUNDLING: Thank you, Emma Smith. And good luck with your exciting new book: "The Soviet Experience; Success, Solidarity, and Stalin." We have received a few e-mails from viewers expressing discomfort with General Theodore Smith's use of a word to describe our German adversaries which, in some minds, is derogatory. MCN apologizes for the use of the "H" word on our air.

So, there you have it. The Allied Expeditionary Forces will, in fact, invade Europe not at Pas de Calais as the American public had been lead to believe, but at Normandy. And, that attack will take place either tomorrow or the next day, depending upon the weather.

This is Rich Rundling, MCN News.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 11/08/2001 6:54:17 AM PST by BluH2o
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To: BluH2o
That's disgustingly accurate.
2 posted on 11/08/2001 7:23:00 AM PST by Chi-townChief
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To: BluH2o
Man, I saved this one. It's classic.

The feint at Pas de Calais pulled a lot of Rommel's material away from Normandy. Rommel himself was in Berlin at the time.

But there is no question that the networks would have done exactly as the author has portrayed here given the opportunity.

3 posted on 11/08/2001 7:36:05 AM PST by Ole Okie
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To: BluH2o
Wow. It's so accurate, it's scary. The only thing missing is an interview with Adolf, which will help us understand why he hates Jews so much.
4 posted on 11/08/2001 7:39:54 AM PST by ConservativeNJdad
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To: BluH2o
I liked "Mayor Jacque Capituler" especially.

Wickedly funny!!!

5 posted on 11/08/2001 7:45:10 AM PST by headsonpikes
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To: headsonpikes
I liked "Mayor Jacque Capituler" especially.

Wickedly funny!!!

Christiane "Amanpour" Smith interviewing French Mayor "Capituler" ... pretty clever stuff!

6 posted on 11/08/2001 7:59:05 AM PST by BluH2o
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To: Ole Okie
The feint at Pas de Calais pulled a lot of Rommel's material away from Normandy. Rommel himself was in Berlin at the time.

The Germans were sensitive to the Pas de Calais region as their arsenal of V-1 rockets were in the immediate vicinity. That made them especially vulnerable to the Allied feint at Pas de Calais ... however, if todays news coverage had been available to Hitler ... he would have tanks and troops pouring into Normandy.

7 posted on 11/08/2001 9:02:32 AM PST by BluH2o
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To: BluH2o
BTTT
8 posted on 11/08/2001 9:33:29 AM PST by 91B
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To: BluH2o
I love it! Do you have a link to where I can find this? I see that you referenced "Hack's Newsletter" but I checked on David Hackworth's site and his various newsletter articles but was unable to find it. Any clues?
9 posted on 11/08/2001 9:46:41 AM PST by Hatteras
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To: ConservativeNJdad
Wow. It's so accurate, it's scary. The only thing missing is an interview with Adolf, which will help us understand why he hates Jews so much.

Mmm, not quite the right flavor. The interview shouldn't be with Hitler himself; it should be with someone high in the Nazi government. He should be asked what he thinks of the two-faced deception of the American government in feinting at Calais; he should be asked if he believes that such bad-faith acts are conducive to arriving at a peaceful "meeting of the minds" between the Axis and the Allies; and he should be asked what he thinks of the fact that the coming US invasion will likely endanger innocent French men, women, and children and cause much property damage.

Yes, I know that Mayor Capituler was already asked that question, but it should be hammered again with the German interviewee in case he's savvy enough to pick up on it.

But you're right: the absence of an interview with a representative of the German government was an inexcusable oversight. We're interviewing Taliban types today, aren't we?

10 posted on 11/08/2001 10:29:21 AM PST by Barak
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To: BluH2o
Very well written parody.

Problem is there can't be another "Normandy-type" invasion against a country with nukes (or in an alliance with a country possesing nukes.

One big one, or a bunch of tactical nukes lobbed on the water would topple the whole armada and wipe out a huge percentage of the enemies wartime resources.

The name of the game today is to not amass those kind of resources in one place at one time so that the other side is not tempted to light up a nuke and become the first to prove the cost/benefit of doing so in such a case.

11 posted on 11/08/2001 10:39:29 AM PST by scape32
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To: 91B
Thanks for the bump ... ;)
12 posted on 11/08/2001 11:07:39 AM PST by BluH2o
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To: BluH2o

13 posted on 11/08/2001 11:12:20 AM PST by TheOtherOne
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To: TheOtherOne
Great tie in ... thanks!
14 posted on 11/08/2001 11:15:21 AM PST by BluH2o
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To: BluH2o
BTTT
15 posted on 11/08/2001 12:56:08 PM PST by headsonpikes
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To: headsonpikes
Thanks for the bump ... pretty slow, I guess the title isn't sexy enough. ;)
16 posted on 11/08/2001 4:34:06 PM PST by BluH2o
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